Jumbled Ramblings

OBSERVATIONS FROM THE SLUSH

2011-04-29T07:59:00.002-06:00

Here are the notes from Session 3 at WWA - nothing new here, but it never hurts to be reminded.

OBSERVATIONS FROM THE MS PILE by Tina Wexler at ICM

There are 5 main things she looks for in a submission:

- a strong hook

- a great opening chapter

- distinct voice

- memorable characters

- engaging plot

HOOK – Having a strong hook doesn’t equal commercial. A complex story can also be high concept. She wants depth and emotional resonance.

Does your book have a hook? Is there an ‘oh’ factor? It’s a very crowded market so she needs stories that stand out.

Main reasons she passes on a ms – It’s too quiet (not enough hook), it feels like a copy of a copy, the hooks feel like gimmicks.

GREAT OPENING CHAPTER – Throw her into the story. Make an emotional connection. Keep her curious. Minimize back story and setup. She used One Hundred Candles as an example of great opening chapter.

Main reasons she stops reading:

- she gets bored. If you hook her right away, she might slog through other chapters that are weaker because she knows you’re capable.

- She’s not emotionally invested in the characters

VOICE – it’s complicated, but it’s all about the right word choice and sentence structure for that particular character

Beware: Don’t confuse loading your sentences with loading on voice. Voice shouldn’t get in the way of progress.

Read your work aloud.

MEMORABLE CHARACTERS - know them. What’s their education, environment, family and friends. Make sure what you know gets on the page.

She often passes because she doesn’t feel she knows the characters.

ENGAGING PLOT – plot is the shape of the surprise. It’s what happens. Make bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

Characters don’t need to be likeable, but she at least needs to know them. Has no problem with unlikable characters.

Plot is the easiest thing to fix.

Main reasons why a plot isn’t working: too predictable, too easy, too boring (for her), too twisty/confusing.

A strong setting is important.

Sharp dialogue moves the story quickly. Realistic.

Also wants a satisfying ending.

More about Character:

2011-04-27T21:41:00.001-06:00

HIDDEN SPACES: BUILDING MEMORABLE CHARACTERS by Martha Mihalick – associate editor, Greenwillow Books at Harper Collins

Martha loves making new friends in characters. We fall in love with a story because it’s about someone we love or care about. The characters make us care. We want them to be real and how they view the world. They’re a real person with real problems.

Characters’ Relationships with Other People:

The most powerful moments are when you get to see the characters interact.

What reveals a character?

- their objects and possessions (prized possessions)

- their actions/reactions to things (body language, eye contact…)

- their opinions (is the world hopeful? Their likes and dislikes)

- their relationships

*be specific in all of these*

She sees a lot of eyes … hands reaching. Use your character’s whole body.

How to Build Relationships between Characters:

- protagonist talking to other character

- protagonist talking about other character

- the actions

- narration

One of her pet peeves is the typical evil adult character. You want them to be grounded, real characters. A great villain is one you love to hate.

Don’t rush your romances.

All characters must be well-developed and well-rounded to develop reader trust.

She likes books with hard choices, strong friendships and gentle romances.

She’s seeing too many strong-willed girls in PBs lately. Find another quality that people will love.

You want a plot that the character you’ve created could fill. This person in this certain situation – no one else can follow their same path.

Present tense is hard to do. It tends to put a distance between the reader and the characters because writers go into too much detail in describing every single thing happening.

I have not returned to blogging ...

2011-04-27T20:34:00.002-06:00

But here are the notes from the latest conference I attended. I'll try to get them all up over the next day or so. Here we go:

CHARACTER AND THE 7 DEADLY SINS by Rosanne Parry (author of Second Fiddle)

Characters usually have quirks, rather than flaws that can lead to obstacles. The choices they make need to always make things worse.

Decide which sin is most perfect for each of your characters.

1) Pride – a preoccupation with the self; rudeness, racism, competitiveness, hunt for immortality. A good example is Voldemort.

2) Envy – a desire for what belongs to others; self-loathing and self harm; often the root of sibling rivalry

3) Anger/wrath – uncontrolled feelings of hatred; violence; paranoia; distrustful. Anger is rooted in fear. She calls it the superhero sin.

4) Laziness/sloth – failure to engage in productive work; cheating; procrastination; unwillingness to take risks. Good example is the Three Little Pigs.

5) Greed – seeking more than your share; cheating, callousness; competitiveness; attention-seeking. Good example is Unwind by Neal Shusterman and a lot of other dystopian.

6) Gluttony – excessive consumption of any kind *is the behavioural route of addiction. Spending; thrill-seeking. In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory every kid has a gluttony problem in one way or another.

7) Lust – excessive interest in physical pleasure. Example – Twilight

A sin is:

~ a habit of thought or action which is harmful to the person who chooses it.

~ the attitude that underlies a hurtful choice

~ the engine of character growth

~ the 7 motivations for conflict in a story

~ reasonably universal across all cultures.

Nobody commits every single one. People specialize and struggle with one or two over their lifetime. The best way to get in the head of a character is to share a sin with them.

What sins don’t tempt you at all? It’s easy to scorn a person whose sin doesn’t tempt you. Understanding that can help you get to know your character.

Which sin is your character most likely to struggle with?

Now how can that sin be amplified?

List some characteristics that might enhance the power of your character’s sin. What can make it worse?

Using sin to advance the plot:

Explore the tension between the negative and positive of sin

Pride … confidence
Envy … emulation
Anger … righteous indignation
Sloth … recreation
Greed … industriousness
Gluttony …. celebration
Lust … generosity

Increases the tension or peril when pitted against each other. Perfect example is Edward vs Jacob.

*When your character is under stress, heading to the climax, their sin becomes magnified. It adds drama to the climax.

The 7 Heavenly Virtues:

Faith – openness

Hope – optimism

Love – gentleness

Prudence – choosing wisely

Justice – choosing fairly

Temperance – choosing moderately

Fortitude – choosing steadfastly

An example of a character with a sin, but then choosing a virtue is Harry Potter. He has every reason to hate but time and time again he chooses love.

Homework:

What trait does my character have?

What plot complications does my character’s fundamental virtue or vice suggest?

At the pivotal moments of your story, will your characters choose to act according to their fundamental sin or their fundamental virtue? That’s what gives a story emotional power.

Does your character need someone (a sidekick) who leaves him with someone to buffer all his sins

A year???

2010-06-01T08:48:00.004-06:00

I can't believe it's been a year since my last blog post. Still, I'm not ready to come back, but I might be in the fall. No promises.

So here's my question: If I post an itty bitty blog today, will anyone notice?

:)

SCBWI WWA '09

2009-05-20T09:31:00.003-06:00

Without a doubt, my performance was significantly less dorky than last year. If you haven't read what happened to me last year, you should. It's memorable to say the least.

I think I'm getting better at behaving in a conferencey way. Upon my arrival at the airport, I calmly handed the cab driver a piece of paper with the hotel and address written on it. Smooth. We were able to avoid the highway hop-to-the-trunk trick, which is always a step up.

My wonderful travelling companion, Deb, was impressed. Weren't you Deb? Right? Right?

Speaking of Deb, I think I found another pea for my little pod. We fit quite nicely together and found out that we both love to talk. A lot. And she's brilliant! While drifting to sleep one night I mumbled my difficulties with having three different endings to my current novel and she said one little sentence that cleared the whole thing up. Did I mention she's brilliant? Yup, I have now figured out how my novel ends and it's a beautiful thing.

Attention Blueboarders! You all are freakin' awesome! I had so much fun on Saturday night and Vijaya did an amazing job of selecting the restaurant. I have got to learn how to cook Butter Chicken because I'm not waiting another year before I try it again. Thank you all for your great company! It was great meeting you and getting to know you better.

So, back to my conference experience. There's not much to say. The keynote speakers were amazing and inspirational. I think the highlight of my trip was meeting Ellen Hopkins and having her sign Identical and Crank. She is an incredible woman. The agents were a top notch line up and most of their sessions were insightful and helpful. I love having a much better sense of who they are now and who I would LOVE to have as an agent. And who I wouldn't. And no. I will not name names.

My consultation went well, too. Based on my first five pages, I was told I'm a strong writer with a compelling story. (squee!) He gave great specific advice on what I can improve upon and some good general tips on pacing and revealing. I can't wait to implement them.

I went a little crazy with my note taking in the sessions and I haven't checked, but I'm hoping I'll be able to decipher them. Once I've got everything organized, I think I'll put up a few notes for you all to see, just because the info was too good not to share.

So, who's taking bets on how long it'll take me to get those notes up? Anyone?

Oh yeah!

2009-05-15T11:48:00.003-06:00

I'm heading out again to the awesome SCBWI WWA conference today and I'm excited and nervous. I thought this would be as good a time as any to repost the story of the wonderful time I had last year so when I return this time, we can compare notes and see which trip was smoother.

Here we go on a Journey into the past (originally posted on April 29 '08):

I embarked on a journey this weekend and it's not the one you think. Yes, I did travel to Seattle Washington to attend the SCBWI Western Washington conference. True enough that I could call that a journey, I suppose. But that's not what this post is about. Not really, although, that is where my story begins.

This is my journey of dorkdom, where my weekend began with a simple, "oops," and spiraled through, "what did I just say," and ended at breakfast on Monday morning with an, "I'll regret saying that for the rest of my life."

I'm not a seasoned traveler and I've never taken a cab by myself before, so when I arrived at the Seattle Airport, I was way out of my comfort zone. But being strong was my motto for the weekend so I powered through, asked for directions to the cabs, didn't get lost, and got a cab. We tossed my bags into the trunk and we were on our way.

Imagine my surprise when the cabby wanted to know where I was going. Imagine again, my horror when I realized I'd left all the information in my laptop bag in the trunk. So there we were speeding down the highway, and me saying, "It's the Silver Cloud, Belleview. I'm sorry, I don't know the address."

The driver was kind enough to keep a pinky finger on the steering wheel while he gestured lots of buildings and asked in broken English, "Is it downtown surrounded by lots of buildings?"

"I don't know," I whined, keeping a close eye on the talented steering pinky. One pothole and we were both doomed. How was I supposed to know what was around the hotel? I'd never been there before. Wasn't he supposed to know where every building in Seattle was located so he wouldn't have these problems? Pulling over on the side of the highway was the cure, although very scary. He grabbed my bag for me and after looking at the address for 2 seconds, he laughed at me and said, "Yup, it's downtown." So there's my small oops, but it seemed to set in motion a few other oops's I'd much rather forget.

From this point on, I'm going to leave names out to keep things moderately anonymous for my own sanity. But if anyone who was there reads this, you'll know exactly who I mean.

1.) I pulled a dorky move at lunch on Saturday. A certain blueboarder who also happens to be familiar with Newbery awards sat at our table for lunch, but was on the other side - too far to really talk properly or even get her attention. We had exchanged emails in the past, so I felt I knew her and was dying to meet her, but couldn't catch her attention. Finally, toward the the end of lunch, our eyes met and I yelled out, "blueboarders" and pointed excitedly (and dorkily) to myself and Heather. Not, "Hi _____, it's so nice to meet you in person!" Not, "Hi! I'm Linda, sbk from the blueboards. We've exchanged emails in the past. Do you remember me?" No, those would have been wonderful ways to introduce myself. Nope. Instead, she got me yelling, "Blueboarders!!" I'm sure Heather would have preferred to crawl under the table, but we both smiled and waved. Certain Blueboarder waved back and asked who we were on the boards and I told her. And yes, she did come over and talk to us after lunch, but wow, the weird looks we got from all the people at the table we didn't know? Priceless.

2.) At the book signing table - A certain author who is well-known for banned books took his book from my hands and began signing, while I gushed about how much I'd enjoyed reading it. I started off sounding moderately intelligent and said things like, "I loved this book," and "I just wanted to yell at the main character and get him to tell someone he was dying!" I should have stopped there. Leave it to my mouth to start talking without permission from my brain. But no, I said, "I wanted to grab him by the neck and just shake him!" Oh yeah, and I was sure to get my hands involved in the conspiracy against my brain and stood there mimicking the neck shaking of this man's main character. Yeah. Fun times. Fun times.

3.) This one is too painful still to tell in detail, but it took place the morning after the conference in the hotel when I went to grab some breakfast. If enough people ask in the comments, I might go into more detail in another post, but for now, all I want to say is this: If a Newbery author, an agent and a big time (and I mean huge - HP huge) editor ask you to join them for breakfast, DON'T tell them no, even if you have what seems like a good reason at the time!! I promise you, the reason will feel really stupid when you get back to your agentless and editorless hotel room.

And that's all I've got to say about that. It was great meeting all the fantastic blueboarders that attended. I wish our table at dinner hadn't been so long so I could have gotten to know you guys at the other end, but it was still a great time. What a fantastic bunch of writers.

April Reading '09

2009-05-09T11:49:00.002-06:00

STUCK IN THE '70'S by D.L. Garfinkle (* * *) YA - While this book was tons of fun to read, I'm not sure I loved it as much as Debbie's first book, Storky: How I Lost my Nickname and Won the Girl. I think my son will love it, though, because, what 15 year old boy wouldn't want to read about waking up to a lost, naked girl in their bathtub? Hilarious and enjoyable on so many levels, Stuck in the 70's is impossible to put down.

THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH by Carrie Ryan (* * * *) YA - Whoa. Who knew the zombie apocalypse would turn out like this? Riveting, amazing and beautifully written, The Forest of Hands and Teeth was a horrifying glimpse at what life could be like if ...
My only issue came towards the ending when I questioned a few of the characters' motives.

THE DUST OF 100 DOGS by A.S King (* * * *) YA - Imagine a pirate who is cursed to live the lives of 100 dogs, only to return as human with all her memories intact. She'd probably be looking for her treasure, right? You betcha! Awesome story with great characters. I loved hearing all the ways Saffron imagined inflicting pain on those who annoyed her.

CATALYST by Laurie Halse Anderson (* * * *) YA - Another amazing book by Laurie Halse Anderson. Kate is so much like me when it comes to avoiding things, so I was really able to relate to her during her journey. A shocking tale filled with tears, anxiety and unlikely new friendships.

THE HUMMING OF NUMBERS by Joni Sensel (* * * *) YA - A very cool story about a monk in training who has a few too many forbidden thoughts. Does he fit in, or will temptation and his ability to hear peoples' numbers make him unworthy? You'll have to read it to find out. I'm super excited to meet Joni next week and have her sign my copy. :D

CRANK by Ellen Hopkins (* * * * *) YA - It's horrible to watch someone slip into drug abuse and this book gives you a front row seat. But it's riveting and hypnotic - a powerful journey in verse and down a very dark path. Couldn't put it down. I'm also excited to be bringing my copies of Crank and Identical to the conference next week so I can get them signed by Ellen. Squeeeee!!!

IDENTICAL by Ellen Hopkins (* * * * * *) YA - On my 5 star system, I had to give this book a 6 (there's a first time for everything). It left me in a puddle in the middle of the floor and took me 5 days to mop it up. I can't even talk about it without getting shivers and remembering how dark and disturbing it was (and I read it 3 months ago). This won't be for everyone - it's a scary look into incest and mental illness, but if you can handle it, I strongly recommend it. Wow!

All right folks! That's it for now!! Happy reading!

My First Interview

2009-05-03T17:00:00.002-06:00

I've got a few friends who have been harassing me about how I'm overdue for a new blog post, but since I'm kinda busy right now with buying my new washer and dryer (cue applause), I figured I'd refer you to a different blog.

My best bud, Heather Ayris Burnell, just interviewed me for her blog over at Frolicking Through Cyberspace. Hop on over to check it out!

Also, coming up this week: a new set of mini book reviews. April was a good reading month and I can't wait to tell you all about the fantastic books I read.

Canadian Authors Rock, eh?

2009-03-30T13:31:00.005-06:00

I thought I'd stick with a theme for this month. Amazing Canadian authors who rock!

WAITING TO SCORE by J.E. MacLeod (YA) * * * * - Sure, the guys will enjoy this book for the hockey and the testosterone-induced teen angst. But I think most girls will enjoy it just as much because, let's be honest. Who can resist a gorgeous, book-reading hockey player? I was hooked on Zack Chase from the first pages and found myself reading well into the night to see if he'd be able to crawl out from under his father's shadow. Engrossing and fast-paced. Loved it!

CRACKED UP TO BE by Courtney Summers (YA) * * * * - Parker is definitely one of those memorable characters who stick with you long after you've finished the book. I think we've all done things we regret as teens and Parker's secret haunts her to the core. She makes me wish I could go back and relive (change) certain moments too. A truly engrossing book that is impossible to put down.

CHESTER and CHESTER'S BACK by Melanie Watt (Picture book) * * * * * - I don't normally review picture books, but I have no choice here. Chester's power is too strong. The books? They're pure genius! About a cat who takes over the author's books and rewrites them the way he thinks they should be. I only wish I'd thought of it first. Hilarious and fun, my daughter will be reading these books for years.

I'm so Freakin' Awesome!

2009-03-07T22:50:00.005-07:00

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I suck at things. Like most people, I try to avoid the activities that will embarrass me, but when you have kids, it gets kinda tricky to come up with excuses for why you shouldn't do something.

That's why I skate. And that's the only reason.

As a kid, I never learned to stop on skates and I broke my wrist because of it when I was around eleven. In my defence, well ... ice is slippery. Sticking metal blades to your feet and then trying to glide on that slippery, hard stuff seems about as practical as jumping out of an air plane. I have a skater girl though who lives to skate and a couple weeks ago, I decided to have some mother daughter time so she could have some free time on the ice instead of always being in lessons.

I started off pretty well. I hadn't skated since last year, so I was a bit wobbly, but within 5 minutes or so, I started to loosen up.

And then I fell. Knees. Elbows. Stomach. Ouch.

With my pride a little crushed, I staggered back up onto my death blades and continued on, hoping no one had noticed my plunge. I promised myself I'd never do that again. I mean really. I don't normally ever fall. I was arrogant enough to think that was my one fall as an adult and I'd never do it again.

Fifteen minutes later - I did it again.

And this time I couldn't get up. I need to break from the story for a moment to thank all the adults on the ice that day who didn't take the time to help me up. Or help me to the bench. Or ask me if I need help. Or notice that my 7 year old girl was the only one helping me hobble-glide across the ice. Thanks. You're all so ... wonderful.

Long story short, I mucked up the cartilage in my knee and I've been couch-ridden for two weeks now. I've barely spent any time on my computer because even though it's a laptop, it's annoying to balance it on only one knee. So I apologize that I've been ignoring everyone's blogs and neglecting my own, but I promise to get back into things within the next week or so.

One thing's for sure -- I don't think I'm ever skating again.

Random Reading

2009-02-20T08:26:00.012-07:00

CANTERWOOD CREST: TAKE THE REINS by Jessical Burkhart (MG) * * * * Book 1 of a new series - If you know any girls who love horses, this is a fantastic book for them to curl up with for a weekend. Rich in horsey detail and high on teen girl rivalry, TAKE THE REINS was a perfect book to keep me reading into all hours of the night. I'd love to hang on to this book, but I know the perfect 13 year old girl who can't wait to get her hands on it. If you love this book, watch out for Book #2, CHASING BLUE, due to be released on March 24, 2009.

PEEPS by Scott Westerfeld (YA) * * * * - A refreshing new spin on vampires (at least as far as my experience takes me). Cal is a carrier of a parasite and has infected all his girlfriends and turned them into Peeps, or vampires. Now it's his job to track them down before they can spread the disease further. Um, cool stuff. Well written. And I'll never, ever see my cats the same way again.

BLUE BLOODS by Melissa De La Cruz (YA) * * - Another vampire book, but this time it didn't work for me. I wasn't interested in the history or the name brands the characters wore and honestly, the fact that these vampires were the elite of New York just made me like them less. Parts of the plot felt contrived and convenient and by the end, I was angry to see that there wasn't any type of ending to give me closure. Read book two to find out what happens? I don't think so.

Mini Reviews Update

2009-02-17T10:11:00.002-07:00

I knew it had been a while since I posted any mini reviews of the books I've read, but when I actually strolled into my archives to see how long it had been, I was floored. JULY!

It's true I haven't been reading as much as I used to because life has been a little crazy and out of control, but I have still been reading some amazing books. I can't wait to tell you all about them.

Now I just need to figure out what I've read since July. EEK.

Mini Reviews coming later this week. I'd do them now, but I'm behind on a few writerly things and it's laundry day and I've got a kid home from school. Don't you hate when life gets in the way of your obsessions?

Is it me?

2009-02-09T12:08:00.002-07:00

I was too busy driving at the time to stop and take a photo, but the sign I saw today at the Calgary Airport almost had me driving off the road.

In giant black letters on an amber diamond, it read, "SPEED HUMP."

Now, is it just me? Or can that have more than one meaning?

Oh, and for you clean minded creatures ... there was no speed bump in sight.

Okay, Mom. You win.

2009-02-04T09:20:00.003-07:00

A while back, I did a "25 random things" post about myself. My mom has taken offense to number 7, which stated, "I used to have a vampire cat named Litter box. LB for short. He used to corner me with his ears pinned back and stare at my neck."

Now, I didn't lie. He did do this. But Mom would like me to inform everyone that he was also a wonderful cat. And he was truly a loving cat when he wasn't drawing blood. We were all sad to see him go.

Okay Mom? :)

Egghead

2009-01-29T16:35:00.004-07:00

I'm anxious to start back to my mini-reviews of everything I read, but I have a busy weekend and don't see it happening soon. So, I'm going to cheat a little bit and post a review I originally did, in December, for the blog on ShopToIt.

An excellent read for teens and preteens, EGGHEAD by Caroline Pignat highlights the first months of the high school life of three very different students – bullied geek Will Reid; Katie, Will’s friend since elementary school, and bystander to his bullying; and Devon, the bully. Told from all three points of view, the reader is given an incredible look at the dynamics of bullying and the struggles that each side can experience.

Canadian debut novelist Caroline Pignat has masterfully blended the high school mindset into three sympathetic characters. I even found Devon, the bully, to be likeable from the start and found myself cheering him on as he struggled with his choices. Katie, the bystander, is truly torn between a loyalty she feels to Will and her fear of becoming a target herself. Will embodies the word geek, but his subtle verse-speak is warm and thoughtful – we can’t help but love him.

The back cover calls this book a “story of compassion confronting intimidation,” and I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s pure brilliance.

Check out Caroline’s Pignat’s website to learn more about her and to see reviews from kids about her amazing book. Also, be sure to check out her new second novel, GREENER GRASS, about a young Irish girl’s fight for survival during the potato famine that devastated Ireland in the 19th century.

Tough Decision Time

2009-01-28T14:09:00.004-07:00

When I first started writing for kids, I thought picture books would be the way to go. They're so short, they must be the easiest to write... right? Well, I figured that one out fairly quickly. I'm not cut out for snappy little 200 word stories. I like to ramble (as I'm sure you've all noticed).

Next in line were the middle grades. They can't be so hard. Right? Well, no, but I'll say one thing. I sure found them easier than picture books. So I focused my energy on a middle grade novel, one that would make my son happy. One that had no real plot to speak of. Sure, it was exciting. Maybe even dramatic. But it had huge flaws (ahem, lack of plot) that I then tried to patch with globs of spackle and force of will, which also didn't work.

I got it in the best shape I could and started sending it out to agents. Maybe someone out there would be able to help me figure out how to fix the glaring problems I had no idea what to do with. I even had positive responses, just none of them were yes.

Enter, a moment of clarity that arrived sometime last year. I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Reading, reading, reading. But I discovered that we're supposed to be reading books similar to what we write so we can learn from them. But the only books I liked were Young Adult books. How could that be?

Okay, so I finally took the hint I'd been giving myself all along. I need to be writing young adult books. And so I did. And still am. And so far, they are so much better than what I wrote before.

Now for a tough decision I've been putting off making for quite a while now. I'm no longer submitting my MG to agents because it doesn't represent anything close to who I want to be as a writer. Even if a generous agent wanted revisions to make it better, I'm so sick of the project and feeling so blah about it, I doubt I'd follow through.

So here I am, with my MG left out on one last submission before I put it to bed. I'm going to work my butt off to get my new YA novel in shape and boy, the second I have it ready, out it'll go. And I'll be so much happier.

I hope.

25 Things

2009-01-27T22:37:00.001-07:00

On my Facebook account I was tagged and forced to reveal 25 random things about myself. I figured I might as well post them here too:

1. I have a serious addiction to four things: Slurpees, chips, Skittles and sunflower seeds. My best night ever would involve me consuming all four.

2. When my first child was born and they plopped him on my stomach, my first reaction was, ewww, can someone take him please?

3. News flash! I suck at writing query letters.

4. I hate going to parties and would really rather stay home and watch tv or a movie.

5. I majored in Justice and Law Enforcement in University. Yup, I was gonna be a parole officer... what the hell was I thinking?

6. My first celebrity crush was Shaun Cassidy. Oh, and also John Schneider of the Dukes of Hazard.

7. I used to have a vampire cat named Litter box. LB for short. He used to corner me with his ears pinned back and stare at my neck.

8. I've always wanted a dog, but I'm too lazy to walk it every day.

9. I can go weeks without needing to leave the house (in fact, I prefer it). I love being at home, and find going out exhausting.

10. It's 3:30 in the afternoon and my 15 year old only just got up. And it only bothers me a little bit. Okay, it bothers me a lot, but only because I wish I could do that too.

11. I once turned down breakfast with Arthur Levine. Yes, I am a stupid stupid woman.

12. I hate doing research, which makes it hard to write properly.

13. I'm not afraid to admit that Hello Kitty is adorable.

14. I've played Rock Band and Guitar Hero and I suck at both. Just don't ask me to sing.

15. I used to be able to name all the Pokemon characters.

16. In high school, I was still too shy to ask strangers what time it was. Then one fateful day I got over it and decided, what the hell. Then I spent a week asking everyone what time it was, even if I didn't want to know.

17. I wish I'd learned to play the piano as a kid.

18. My friends and I used to play Charlie's Angels at recess. We all fought over who had to be Sabrina.

19. An older kid once chased me down the street with a lighter, trying to catch my hair on fire.

20. I yell at bad drivers (with my window up so they can't hear me).

21. I'm addicted to the internet.

22. I hate having my picture taken because I always halfway close just one eye and it looks dumb.

23. Every morning I tell my cat I'm going to brush her and then every night I'm too tired to do it. She almost never gets brushed except at bath time. Oh yeah, I give our cats baths to torture them and remind them who's in charge. mwahahaha.

24. 99% of the time, my house is a mess because I'd rather be writing.

25. This was freakin' hard to do.

Well, look at that!

2009-01-26T09:02:00.005-07:00

Ahem, I just wanted to point out that I know how to pick them.

This morning, as I listened to the ALA webcast of the awards, I wasn't one bit surprised to hear that Ingrid Law's Savvy had won the Newbery Honor. Seems to me, I called that one many months ago here. Congratulations Ingrid. You inspire me to write better, read more and keep on writing even on those dark days when the words just don't want to come.

Kreativ Blogger Award

2009-01-25T15:22:00.004-07:00

Okay, I'm back. *cue applause*

I promise to never ignore my blog again.

Now, before I get back to my normal blogging rituals, I need to take care of a little business. I have been tagged by Brenda for the "Kreativ Blogger Award," which means I am to list 7 things I love. No problem.

1. I love the people who aren't afraid to openly cry in movies.

2. I love how my cat's tongue sticks out just a hint when she's sleeping.

3. I love Skittles. Sour Skittles are even better.

4. I love watching my kids do what they do best - acting, singing, playing basketball, figure skating ... They make me so proud.

5. I love reading a book that's so good it makes me forget to go to doctor appointments - k, missing the appointments - not so much fun, but the book part? Priceless.

6. I love orchids and lilies.

7. I love my family even when they drive me crazy and make me want to scream.

Now, this is the part where I break the rules. Sorry Brenda, but I'm not going to tag anyone for this one because I'm only just getting back into this blogging thing and I'd probably only end up annoying people. Maybe next time.

I know!

2009-01-13T11:36:00.004-07:00

Yes, I'm aware it's been almost a month since my last blog post. I promise to get back to regular blogging within the next week or so, so keep an eye out.

It's been crazy around here.

Slow recovery time.

While you're waiting, why not tell me about some of the cool things you got for Christmas.

I'll start.

Brendan gave me awesome kickass speakers for my Macbook, so now when I'm writing I don't have to put painful little earbuds in my ears. They sound amazing and I'm quickly going deaf. :)

Also, I'm going to add a sales plug for my very most favourite soaps and bath things from Rocky Mountain Soap. Yes, also a Christmas gift. It wouldn't be Christmas without them.

Talk amongst yourselves. I'll be back soon.

Whoa!

2008-12-18T09:20:00.002-07:00

So, you may have figured out that after I finished NaNoWriMo I crashed. Big. It took two weeks for me to want to even think about writing again. I steered clear of my blog because it made me feel obligated and I couldn't face it. And now, I feel a bit more normal, but my brain is locked in holiday mode.

Baking, shopping, shovelling, wrapping, decorating, critiquing (okay, so I still have some writing obligations), returning emails, more shopping and more baking. Is that everything? I think so.

Just when I start to feel done and ready for the season, something backfires.

Done the baking? Great. Wait, it's all gone. Gotta bake again, this time with a "These Cookies are for Guests!!!" sign.

Decorations and cats don't mix. 'Nuff said about that one.

Just when the shovelling is done, it snows again.

Wrapping. *Sigh* Last minute scrambles to wrap teacher gifts or other friends of the family gifts simply result in wrapped packages littering my countertop until January because of that darn snow that seems to never end, but is amazing at stopping traffic cold! See above.

And finally, spending the day shopping so I can get everything done? Awesome. Wait, what do you mean all the stores in Calgary no longer have the D-Rex in stock? It's the only thing Kelly is asking Santa for and I can't find it? Do you realize this is a test? That she's been saying things like, "I ask Santa for the expensive stuff so you don't have to pay for it" and "Santa doesn't need money." GULP I tried to explain that he needs to pay the elves because they're not slaves, but I don't think she was buying it. I think this may be our last real Santa Christmas.

So there you have it. It's why I don't blog this time of year. Who has the time?

A tally (of sorts)

2008-11-28T18:49:00.003-07:00

Wow, I guess by now you've figured out that I finished writing my NaNoWriMo novel a few days ago. Check out the awesome winner banner I have posted on the right. :D

I thought it might be fun to keep a tally of certain events I encountered while going through this manic month.

# of actual writing days it took to finish - 19
# of words written - 50,400ish
# of slurpees consumed - 8
# of bags of chips/sunflower seeds consumed - 4
# of times I screamed - 14
# of minutes I tortured myself with the SpongeBob theme song in the name of research - 34 minutes
# of times I wished I could just go nap instead of write - 9
# of times I snapped at the kids and threatened to write them into my novel and kill their characters - 4 (I had a sign on the door that threatened that very thing, so eventually I just had to point to it and they'd go running)
# of times my awesome family asked how it was going - lost count, but it was many many many, and I adore them for it. :)
# of times I used the internet as a distraction/procrastination tool - approx 152
# of times I banged my head on the keyboard or my desk - 6
# of endings written - 3 and I still can't decide which is better
# of times I swore I'd never ever do this again - zero!!!

Getting it right

2008-11-21T15:04:00.005-07:00

Do you ever have writing days where you just know everything is perfect? It was meant to be?

Some of you may already know that I've been struggling to find the right ending for my nano novel. I've always had flashes and pictures in my mind of how things would end, but I never really knew how I would get there. Or if things would change as I went along. Or even if these pictures were good choices.

As I made my choices today I knew everything was working. Call it fate, but I just knew.

Here's why:

As I typed the scene with a character begging for mercy ... the song called Mercy by Duffy popped up next on my itunes. A few moments later, when another character arrived to save the day but ended up in trouble herself? Rihanna's SOS came on.

I considered it coincidence. I had just done a really good job of creating my themed playlist for this novel.

But I really knew I had to be on track when only a few minutes later, when I was crying and about to actually kill one of my characters, the song Dead by MCR came on.

How weird is that?? To have the timing so perfect at all the main points that I've had planned for so long ...

it just feels right.

I love writing.

An Abundance of Green!

2008-11-17T18:28:00.003-07:00

Have you looked at my side status bar lately? See all that green??

SQUEEEEEE!!

I'm almost done! As of right now, I only have around 15,000 words left before I'm officially done NaNoWriMo. What an amazing feeling, wow!

I find myself now wondering, will I need to write past 50,000 to get to the end? Likely. Is it as bad as I think? Probably. Does it have potential? Heck ya. Will it take years to get it right? Absolutely!

Am I stoked?

You betcha!!

What We'll do for Research!

2008-11-13T13:24:00.004-07:00

I can't believe what I just did in the name of research for my current book. For reasons I won't get into, I needed to know how long it would take a person to feel actually tortured by listening to the Sponge Bob Square Pants Theme repeatedly. So, I wandered over to Youtube and thought, how bad can it be?

Well, I tell you my friends. BAD! Very very bad!

At first, because it's a fun song, you sing along. Of course you stumble on a few of the words, so you work on getting that right. But let me tell you. By 15 minutes in of repeated looping of the song, with no sign of it ending, you don't give a flying flop what the words are and you just want the damn thing to shut up.

But it doesn't! It keeps going and going and going! Yes, you're the one that keeps pushing the button for it to repeat, but it's for research. You're a writer, right? Writers do this crap. Well, they shouldn't.

I lasted just under 40 minutes, listening to that 43 second long song. By the end, I was shaking, my pulse felt like it was racing and I was about ready to cry. I figured that was a good place to stop.

The music has been off now for oh, maybe 15 minutes and guess what? I can still hear the damn thing! Someone save me from myself!

I may just have nightmares.

Any of you want to give it a try and see how long you last?

The rules: It has to loop, it has to be loud, and you're not allowed to do anything else while you're doing this test.

Come on, I dare you!

First Happy Dance of Many

2008-11-06T11:33:00.002-07:00

Yay, I just hit 10,000 words of my novel. I'm pretty much right on track so far and am not even too disappointed with how it's turning out. I've definitely been doing some rambling, perhaps I've been repeating myself a bit, but that's okay. Those things are so easy to edit out later when I decide what should stay and what should go.

For now I'm giving myself the freedom to let things flow.

Doing my happy dance.

I think when I hit 20,000 I'm going to have to treat myself to something special. Like, maybe a slurpee.

Hope all you other Nanites are keeping up to your own expectations. And remember to have fun!

How do you drive?

2008-11-04T06:00:00.004-07:00

Are you one of those drivers who is always in a big hurry? Zoom zoom here. Zoom zoom there. Pass this guy. Pass that guy.

Have you thought about how much fuel you're wasting by driving that way? Think about how much money you could save if you just slowed down a bit and eased off the gas. And I know it's hard in our busy world, but try leaving early. Or you know what? Stop caring if you're 5 minutes late for something. It's not the end of the world to miss the first five minutes of your daughter's ballet lesson. It is the end of the world if we can't get climate change under control.

If you see a hill ahead, just coast a bit until you can use momentum/gravity to get you down the hill. No need to use the gas.

In stop and go traffic, how about just easing ahead as things move, rather than gunning/stopping/gunning/stopping.

Do you let your car idle? You shouldn't. What about in the winter? Is it okay then? Well, not really. So you have to sit in your cold car for a few minutes before it warms up. Wouldn't you rather save the planet? Perhaps that's more important than your comfort.

And those of you with automatic car starters ... don't. Just don't. Your convenience is wasting gas and pumping tons of extra emissions into our atmosphere. If you insist on using one, at least limit the running time to no more than 3 minutes. Please for all our sakes.

Okay, lecture over. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming ... um ... oh yeah, writing a novel.

Lying Ticker

2008-11-02T08:32:00.002-07:00

Um, don't believe everything you see on this blog. At this point, my word count is at 646, not zero. And I did write on Saturday so that little red square should be green. hmm ... Hopefully, this will get worked out soon. In the meantime, know that I AM writing every chance I get.

Abandoned!

2008-10-30T08:58:00.007-06:00

I've been trying all week to convince at least one of my kids to participate in NaNoWriMo with me. They have a youth division, so the kids don't even really need to write a full 50,000 words. They can set their own goals.

And yet, I've been abandoned - left to face the madness alone.

Despite being the most likely candidate, Shawn is far too busy with rehearsals for the three plays he's in. One down.

Bryan ... well he hates to read, so why the heck would he want to write anything? I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I let it go. He had a point. Two down.

And dear little Kelly. My wonderful 7 year old reader. She loved the idea of writing a story alongside mom. Until she found out she had to commit to writing a page a day for 30 days. Dang it. I guess that's a little too much for her. I know she could do it. But she'd rather read and watch tv and play. The nerve of that girl.

So that leaves me with ... you! Yes, I'm talking to you. Don't look behind you. There's no one there. It's not too late to sign up if you haven't already. Come on, you know you want to!

Counting Down the Days

2008-10-27T16:51:00.003-06:00

Only a few days left before I'll be jumping into the Nano race. I have only half an outline. One character is fleshed out and the others are still giant question marks. My research is nowhere near done. And I'm certain I have little to no time in the next few days to work on any of that.

But.

I'm so excited and I just don't care about any of it. I'm about to embark on writing another novel and I'm feeling high as a ... nope. No metaphors or similes allowed. I need to save everything up for November 1st.

Shhhh ... don't tell my family that I don't plan on cooking for the next month. I suspect they'll figure it out after the 13th night of Ichiban for dinner.

The Ancient One

2008-10-23T09:11:00.004-06:00

It's official. I'm old. My kids told me so.

Conversation with 7 year old yesterday morning: You're 39! Ha! I can't wait until you're 40 cuz that's when you turn all wrinkly. *cue hysterical laughter*

Conversation later that same day with 12 year old son while driving in the van:

Me: Back before you were born, I was the Sonic Champion of the house. I was so good.
Son: *Questioning eyebrows* -- Yeah, right. It probably wasn't even hard back then. Wait, you had video games?
Me: In my early twenties, yes. Your Dad and I bought a Sega. And if you gave me a day to brush up, I could totally wuup your butt at Sonic.
Son: *hysterical laughter* -- rrriiigggghhhhttt. I'm sure you only ever beat it on easy level.
Me: Well, back then you couldn't choose levels. They were allll hard.
Son: HA! Yeah, and I bet the games didn't even have (*insert some random gaming thing I don't understand and don't remember*)
Me: Um, no.
Son: See? I would pwn you. Don't even try.
Daughter from backseat: Wow, you ARE old! When you were a kid, how did you buy your shoes? Did you have to go up to a counter and tell them what you want? And then they'd go make them for you?
Me: OMG! How old do you think I am?????

And so goes the story of the day my kids figured out I'm old. I'm going back to bed.

The Nano Bug Hits Again

2008-10-16T09:14:00.002-06:00

You may have noticed my sidebar has a new addition. Yes, that is what you think it is. Not only do I plan on participating in NaNoWriMo again this year, in which I'll be attempting to write an entire novel in one month, but I plan on posting my progress each day in the sidebar. Call me crazy, but I can't help thinking that I'll do better if I'm being held accountable to the couple of you who still bother to come here to read my blog.

Which brings me to another point. I want to thank the few of you who stuck around waiting for me to take three months off from blogging and writing. Recharging was definitely something I needed to do, and I'm so glad I did it. I've come back with a clean house (I know! Can you believe it?) and a fresh mind and I'm actually excited to dive into my novel again.

What will I be writing for Nano, you ask? Well, only the same novel I've started two other times before, but just couldn't get right. But this time, I'm starting with an outline and some serious character development before I even consider typing those first lines. By November 1, I plan to be outlined and ready to dive into some serious speed writing. Notice how I still never really told you what I was writing? That's because I keep my ideas very close to me (for fear of jinxing something), but I will share this. I've been researching witch hunts and catastrophic global climate change. Got you curious? ;)

Wish me luck.

Attempted Murder, Death and Survival

2008-10-10T16:53:00.004-06:00

I guess it's no real surprise to us that the cats have taken a huge interest in our new family member - Smarty the wonder fish. And yeah, the kids have been making a strong attempt to keep the cats away by keeping certain doors closed, but it's easy to forget when you're not used to doing it.

This morning was one of those times. Kelly left the door open. The cats found Smarty.

It wasn't difficult to figure out what all the screaming was about when she wandered upstairs to feed the little guy. He was either dead or on the floor. I dutifully bolted up the stairs, ready to console my devastated daughter and prepare to teach her about burials at sea (cue flushing sounds), and yes, the entire bowl had been knocked to the ground and there was a dead fish on our carpet.

After a few calming hugs for Kelly, I ran for a towel and began mopping the water from the carpet, trying hard to avoid the dead thing staring at me. I swear at least five minutes went by with me mopping, Kelly weeping and blaming herself and me reassuring her that it wasn't her fault.

And then it happened. The strangest of things. The towel bumped the dead thing and the dead thing moved. Was it one of those freak nervous system twitches you hear about in dead things, like bodies sitting up in the morgue? Or was it possibly still alive? If I gave Kelly hope, would that make it worse for her when I dumped him back in water and he just floated there on his belly? Should I dare try?

I took a chance and ran with the bowl, yelling, "Hold on a sec. I want to try something." I didn't really think it would work, but I filled the bowl and ran back for the dead thing, then scooped it up with one of Kelly's skirts (I was NOT going to touch it, are you kidding me?) and popped it back into the bowl.

And it started swimming around!!!!! Seriously! I'm not kidding.

Smarty is one incredible fish. I don't know how long Betta fish can live without water, but they do breathe air and this apparently was the only reason he survived. He's stressed now, and wouldn't eat when we fed him, but he's alive. For now.

I think we should change his name to Lucky.

What's that Girl Been up to?

2008-10-07T13:33:00.005-06:00

Do you know what happens to a digital camera that's been used by a seven year old (without permission) to take pictures of a new pet fish?

It gets wet.

Yes, you heard me. Our saintly daughter decided the camera would capture her new fish, Smarty's, colours better if the lens was dipped into the water. The lens of our $600 digital camera. And no, that strategy did not get her better photos. It did get her sent to her room, though, while I spent half an hour trying to see if there was any possible way to dry it out.

Kelly has been saving for a fish for weeks now and trying to prove that she's responsible enough to care for one by taking care of the cats without being reminded. She's done very well and this weekend we decided she was ready. Twenty-two dollars later, she's got everything she needs including a new best friend that doesn't talk back or mess up her room. And she's been very responsible so far. If you ever need a fish sitter, she's the one to call. Just don't lend her your camera.

Oh, yeah! And I'm happy to be back from my extended vacation from writing. More on that later. Missed you all. :)

David Hasselhoff: King of Idiots

2008-08-27T09:19:00.004-06:00

I'm not a huge fan of America's Got Talent, but I usually watch it because the rest of my family likes it. But last night, one of the judges, David Hasselhoff, reminded me why I don't enjoy it. Stupidity and arrogance. It was bad enough during the audition rounds when the audience would rudely boo the contestants performing on stage, barely giving them a chance to do their act. We'd sit around watching the mob mentality take hold and witness dream after dream get shot down. Believe me, it's a very tough thing to watch.

But last night, David Hasselhoff said something so stupid, so unbelievably arrogant, so idiotic, I kept repeating it for the rest of the evening out of pure shock of it. Some guys had just finished a singing/dancing type act and David tried to pay them a compliment by saying, "YOU GUYS ARE AS AMERICAN AS THE OLYMPICS!"

Um, David? I'm sorry, but the last time I checked the Olympics were an international competition -- a celebration of the world coming together in peace and the joy of sport. What the hell does that have to do with Americans?

The saddest part is that I'm pretty sure no one in the audience saw anything wrong with the statement. I do believe there was cheering.

It's really very sad. And truly pathetic. And ya know? Just a little insulting.

David owes the world an apology.

July Reading '08

2008-07-31T13:58:00.007-06:00

WAKE by Lisa McMann (* * * *) -YA - Warning: I'm going to sound like a total nutcase when I review this. But. This was such a fantastic book I couldn't put it down. In fact, I read it so fast that I remember absolutely nothing about it. I scanned a few pages today - nothing. No sense of recollection. I barely recognized the main characters. How weird is that? So a word of caution if you read WAKE: Slow down and enjoy it. Enjoy and savour every single word. P.S. In my defense, it was several weeks ago when I read it. But still ...

I HEART YOU, YOU HAUNT ME by Lisa Schroeder (* * * * *) YA - I never thought in a million years that I would enjoy a book written in verse, but there you have it. Not only did I read this amazing book, but I loved loved loved it. The raw emotion. The pain of losing someone – being torn between wanting them to always be there, but needing to move on with your life – Wow, Lisa did a fantastic job of all of it. I highly recommend this one.

KING DORK by Frank Portman (*) YA - *sigh* I'm seriously not going to say too much here because I could rant for hours about it. But will it give you a good idea of what I thought if I say it took me three long, painful weeks to get through it? It became the running joke of the house ... "Still reading it, eh?" to which I would nod and frown and grumble, "I don't want to talk about it."

THE ASTONISHING LIFE OF OCATVIAN NOTHING by M.T. Anderson
(* * * *) YA - I know they classify this book as young adult, but honestly, the language in it had me wishing I had my brain hardwired to a dictionary, so I'd really only recommend it for adults or older teens. But wow, once you can get passed how stupid you feel for not understanding several words on each page, it is an amazing story. I can see how it's received so much positive attention. I didn't love how deep into American History it delved because I'm not American and have no real clue about A. History. So as much as I enjoyed this dark look at slavery in the 1700's, I doubt I'll read the next one in the series.

JUST IN CASE by Meg Rosoff (* * *) YA - Would you know if fate was out to get you? A quick read. Enjoyable. But kinda forgettable. I read it last week, but still had to drag the book out today to read the back cover before I could remember what it was about. I did love it, though.

THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL - by Anne Frank - Okay, clearly I'm not going to critique this. I did want to record it here in my notes that I read it and was touched by the moving story of a young girl who lived in such tragic times. I can't believe it took me until now to read it.

SLAM by Nick Hornby - (* * *) YA - It was okay. I guess it was an interesting look at how a teenage boy reacts when he finds out his girlfriend is pregnant, but honestly, I found the Tony Hawk stuff a bit weird and annoying. The rest felt very real, though.

Sheepish

2008-07-14T12:59:00.003-06:00

I'm an opinionated brat. I'll be the first to admit that. People who meet me in person don't get to see that side of me because although I'm opinionated, I'm also shy about sharing my opinions. Close friends find out eventually, but by then I've got them sucked into my web and it's too late for them to escape. They eventually learn to deal with me.

But online, I am not shy about sharing my opinions, and sometimes I don't think before I do. Last month I mini-reviewed a bunch of blueboarder books. And yes, I struggled with one of the reviews. Should I be honest and mention that I didn't love the book even though the author might read it? Or should I sugar coat the review? How about not reviewing it at all? I finally decided to go ahead with the review and be honest, otherwise, what's the point of doing reviews?

But.

Doing an honest review for some random author you don't know is way easier than doing one for a fellow writer who you have to "see online" every day. She saw my review. And it hurt her. And broke her confidence. And I'm really really sorry. I have removed that review and have decided to go with the rule I try to teach my daughter every day. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

This will not stop me from posting harsh reviews of books I don't like. But I refuse to post negative reviews for the blueboarders. We are all together in this bumpy ride and I don't want to be one of the ones making it bumpier.

June Reading

2008-07-03T15:00:00.000-06:00

June is so busy. I only managed to get through two books last month.

SEEDS OF TIME by kc dyer (* * *) MGish - An interesting story, but I wasn't a big fan of the writing. I think some tightening would have helped to a degree. Either that or all the books I've been reading lately (*cough* blueboarders *cough*) have been so good, that anything else pales in comparison.

SAVVY by Ingrid Law (* * * * *) MG - OMG I loved this book. Quirky thirteen year old Mibs has got to be one of my all-time favourite middle grade main characters. She has such a unique way of looking at everything and her voice is so strong. I'm sure there's a fun comment of some sort on every page. Ingrid Law is my new hero. A definite hopeful for the Newbery.

Also, I should mention that I'm taking the summer off completely from writing so there may not be a lot of blog posts for July or August. I guess we'll have to wait and see what sort of time I have.

Dumped

2008-06-20T18:14:00.006-06:00

Do you remember that guy in school that all the girls wanted to go out with? You'd roll your eyes as they relentlessly batted their lashes and flirted without mercy, but secretly, you wanted him too. Then finally came the day when it was your turn; you got to talk to him with no one else around.

You smiled, playfully slapped his shoulder when he was silly and grazed your knee by his every chance you had. He looked you in the eye and said, "I'll go out with you if you lose 10 pounds." Crushed! How could he think that about you? But clearly he knew what he was talking about. Right? He could go out with any girl he wanted, but he said he'd go out with you. There was just a condition. Okay, so you spent 2 months working and working to get those pounds off and when you were ready and feeling fabulous, you tracked him down after school.

Your hands were shaking and you had a huge lump in your throat when you asked, "Wanna go out now?"

Breathing was impossible while you let him think about it. You waited and you waited and finally, he smiled and said, "Wow, it sure was nice meeting you. I guess you should have lost 20 pounds. You still don't look good enough."

Now:

Imagine this story is about an agent, revisions and a manuscript. And that's my day.

Yup. Rejected.

Question

2008-06-18T12:56:00.002-06:00

When you're home alone and the wind is calm and the dryer is rumbling, and you're lost in thought about your scary novel, do you question the thumping you hear upstairs? You try to blame your cats, but one is curled up behind your head, another is crunching food in the next room and you just saw the third freak out and head for the basement.

So who's thumping? Do you go see?

And suppose you're sitting at the computer, fretting about the stranger upstairs, freaking yourself out worse than you need to by blogging about your mystery guest when the front door bursts open and your son walks through the door. Would you scream?

Writerly Angst

2008-06-11T11:47:00.004-06:00

Have you ever subbed to an agent that sounds good, but you don't like one of the books they represent? In fact, you hated it and only found out today that they're that author's agent ... um and you actually blogged about that book and publicly said how bad that book was? And um ... now if this agent ever ends up as your agent, do you have to remove that little book review so he doesn't know what you "really" thought? Or is it okay to just have your opinion and hope he never finds that page that you wrote so long ago, because, you know, you're only as clever as your current blog entry?

And what about email submission? If a certain agent says to only paste the first five pages into your equery, but he's already seen your first five pages and said, "go a head and send me the first 50," but hell, he didn't give you a card, his website is unclear, and now you're sitting there all sweaty, trying to figure out if you should send it as an attachment since, hell, 50 pages are a huge amount to paste into an email, but you don't want to piss him off either. Um, snail mail?

Oh, and what if your query still sucks? Do you crawl under a rock and decide that writing is overrated and just run out and join the circus, or is there some other way to keep the damn letter from sucking your soul through your eyeballs?

And just as an addtional rant, if you happen to be venting on your blog, and you hear the garbage trucks coming and you know the garbage hasn't been taken out because it's your husband's job and he's out of town, do you drop what you're doing so you can be happy to get the garbage out of your garage, or leave it because getting the blog done feels so much better?

Query Hell

2008-06-09T20:41:00.003-06:00

Query letters suck. Or rather, my query letter sucks. Why can't I seem to get my pitch part of the letter right? I either make it sound exciting but too darn vague, or overly detailed and boring as hell. I can't get the right balance.

Maybe I'll just skip the query process and study stalking. Yeah, I could move to New York and just stalk the agents I want. With enough "photos" of them, I'm sure I could convince one of them to represent me.

What do you think?

Dangit I've been tagged Again!

2008-06-07T10:35:00.005-06:00

Thanks Deb ... Okay, I'll do this, but I'm coming after you next time I get one of these things.

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people, and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer.

What were you doing five years ago?
1. I had an almost two-year-old so I was changing a lot of diapers and cleaning poop off the walls (Really don't want to talk about that).
2. I was writing the first draft of my first novel - we won't discuss here how incredibly ghastly it was.
3. Helping kids with homework

4. Getting ready for a garage sale

5. Sorry, I just don't remember that far back anymore

What are five things on your to do list for today? (in no particular order)
1. take daughter to ballet and hunt stores for coloured hair spray while I wait for her class to end.
2. Chauffeur kids to friends' houses and/or movie theatres
3. Hang out at Starbuck's with BFF and let the kids fend for themselves for a little while.
4. Do a load or two of laundry
5. Spend a little time researching agents

What are five snacks you enjoy?
1. Chips chips chips chips chips!!!!!
2. Slurpees (must be coke. They're best when you can add a hint of banana flavoured slurpee in the middle)
3. Cookies
4. Fun Dips, Sweethearts, Nerds ... or any other candy of that form
5. Popcorn

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Buy a winter home somewhere warm and foreign
2. Buy Orlando Bloom to fan me on hot days and keep me warm on cold winter days (sorry Brendan)
3. Donate to local charities (women's shelter, children's hospitals ...)
4. Start my own publishing company and hire awesome people to work with me.
5. Fund my son's first movie that he plans to direct (as log as his brother and sister could be in it)

What are five of your bad habits?
1. Too much junk food
2. spending way too much time on the internet when I should be working
3. chewing on the inside of my cheeks
4. clenching my teeth in my sleep
5. staying up later than I should

What are five places you've lived?
1. Belleville, Ontario
2. Winnipeg, Manitoba
3. Calgary, Alberta
4. Um ... that's it.

What are five jobs you've had?
1. Warehouse - unpacking, pricetagging and then repacking merchandise for The Bay
2. Purolator Courier - Is it wrong that I don't remember what I did for them? Something in a back office and sorting out bills and stuff
3. Waitress - um ... that didn't go well
4. Set Perfectionist - um yeah, my whole job was to sit and wrap cutlery into the cloth napkins for a restaurant
5. Job Facilitator - trained adults with mental disabilities in new jobs

Okay now I have to tag 5 others ... um ... Can I do this tomorrow? It took me an hour and a half to answer all these stinkin' questions and I have to go...

Reading Blues

2008-06-03T12:01:00.001-06:00

Okay, I promised more Blueboarders so here I go:

INK EXCHANGE by Melissa Marr (* * * *) YA - Although I loved the writing and read it in one day flat, I felt a little let down by the sequel to WICKED LOVELY. Was it beautifully put together with an exciting plot and marvelous tension? Oh yeah, you bet. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fully connect with the characters. I cared what happened to them and was curious to see how the situation would be resolved, but I didn't care enough, if that makes any sense. BUT! I still highly recommend it for everything else it provides; love, longing, tension, and the bare truth it reveals - you can't hide from your feelings no matter how much you think you need to.

A CURSE DARK AS GOLD by Elizabeth C. Bunce (* * * * *) YA - Wow, who knew a retelling of Rumpelstiltskin could be so intriguing? I had my doubts at the beginning of the novel with all the details about the running of the mill, but I was patient and knew it would pick up. I was right. Elizabeth has certainly done her research. She masterfully immersed me into the past, almost making me feel I was there. I believed every word. And the voice - so genuine and real. Every word fit the voice and the time period; not once, did I feel lurched into the present with a silly phrase that had been carelessly tossed in. I highly recommend it, especially if you enjoy historical fiction.

K, that's it for the Blueboarders. For now. I still have a stack I haven't read yet.

AMONG THE HIDDEN by Margaret Peterson Haddix (* * * * *) MG - A beautifully dark look at the world from a boy's point of view who is supposed to not exist according to the population laws. I could not put it down. If you haven't read it, read it this week. I could learn a lot from Margaret about simplicity, detail and emotion. If I'd had more time with the book (I had borrowed it from my son's school for the weekend) I would have spent time studying it in great detail - in fact, I might buy it just so I can do that.

Reading?

2008-05-28T09:16:00.002-06:00

Yes, I've been reading. I just haven't been blogging about it. But I have been keeping track of what I read, so here we go (in no particular order other than what's closest to my computer goes first). I'll divide them up -- a bunch today -- the rest in a few days. In fact, let's make today a Blueboarder day.

GOLDEN by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (* * * *) YA - GOLDEN was a fascinating read about a girl who can see people's auras and the annoyances that accompany that 'gift.' It was a little like the show Heroes, but not exactly, but kind of in a way ... but way more original than Heroes because this book came first. Hehe, okay, I'm clearly out of practice -- to sum up, it's a good book that I very much enjoyed reading.

TATTOO by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (* * *) YA - Another great book by Jennifer. Imagine a temporary tattoo that gives you powers and it's suddenly up to you to use those powers to save the world. No pressure or anything. It's been a couple of months since I've read this, so the rest is a little hazy. I remember loving it. Isn't that all that matters?

REALITY LEAK by Joni Sensel (* * * *) MG - Wow, what an original and funny story about strange things happening in a small town. Almost every page provided craziness or another part of the mystery. Fast paced and intriguing, I'd say this one is great for reluctant readers.

NINTH GRADE SLAYS by Heather Brewer (* * * *) MG/YA - Book two of the Chronicles of Vladimir Tod series proved even better than the first. Darker and thirstier, Vlad struggles with his vampire training and his teenage awkward lust for Meredith. The first chapter gave me a few struggles, but it was smooth sailing after that. A must-read if you love troubled, teenage vampires.

EGGHEAD by Caroline Pignat (* * * *) YA - This one opened my eyes on how to make even an unlikeable character sympathetic. Told from the point of views of three people - a bully, a bystander and the bullied - we are given an incredible look at the dynamics of bullying and the struggles that each side can experience. Really, very clever. I'd recommend this one for anyone entering Junior High and up.

Okay, that's it for the Blueboarders. In a few days I'll post the other great books I've read.

Tag! I'm it!

2008-05-13T15:45:00.003-06:00

I've been tagged by Angela, so here I go. Here are the rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people and post a comment to Angela's blog once you've posted your three sentences.

So everyone I know is super busy. I will do all 4 of the first steps, but unfortunately I will have to let it die there. Sorry Angela.

~ 1.) Okay, so the nearest book to me is A CURSE DARK AS GOLD by Elizabeth C. Bunce, which I just finished reading two days ago and was very good, BTW.

Fifth sentence: "Anyone would think you were nervous."

Next three sentences: At once he withdrew, easing back into the carriage seat and crossing one stockinged leg over the other. "Nonsense, child," he said languidly. "It's merely the heat of the compartment."

~2.) That was fun. Now I'll do this same thing for a book that wasn't as great. KING OF THE LOST AND FOUND by John Lekich.

Fifth sentence: Everything was going according to plan until Mr. Hanrahan left to get a carpenter's level that he had forgotten.

Next three sentences: Alone in the hallway, I noticed that the painting had gotten a little crooked. I thought it would be okay to climb the ladder and straighten the picture out because our janitor had put down a bunch of extra-cushiony high-jumping mats around the bottom of the ladder. Just as a safety precaution, in case he dropped the valuable painting of old Percy.

~3.) Oh hell, and while I'm at it, I might as well do my own. So here it is from STORM by me.

Fifth sentence: One thing he understood: Darius was to blame.

Next three sentences: Colton’s mind wandered to Storm. Knowing he should be paying attention to Ms. Widdle, he struggled to take his mind off the beauty of the sword. Its weight, its length, its brilliance …

And there you have it. If anyone decides to play this game, just for fun, let me know in the comments.

Cover your A.S.S when writing

2008-05-10T22:12:00.003-06:00

Conferences can be overwhelming events stuffed with inspiring talks, helpful tips, and words of wisdom. For me, returning home from the SCBWI Western Washington conference was frustrating because I happened to take terrible notes (as I've already mentioned), and I was worried I'd forget everything I learned. But while scanning my random pages of scribbled nonsense, I managed to find three words randomly jotted in the margins that had obviously seemed important when I heard them.

They've been the most helpful three words in my revisions since returning. In fact, I was so afraid I'd forget them,I wrote them on a post it note and stuck it over my computer. So now, over my head hangs a sign that says:

Authentic

Specific

Sympathetic

And yes, although I noticed how powerful those reminders were, I also couldn't help noticing how brilliant I was to coincidentally arrange them so their first letters spelled the word ASS. So yes, every time I look up, I'm reminded to use my ASS. Shall I share my wisdom?

1. Authentic: I don't specifically remember any of the presenters speaking about authenticity, but I did learn that you have to be real. And your characters have to be real. Their emotions have to fit with what they're doing and who they are. If you have a character who say, drops a blender on her toe, don't just assume she'd be hurt and swear a bunch of times and move on. Really feel the emotions that accompany that type of klutz move and realize that she'd also feel embarrassed, she'd possibly see the humour in it and most definitely she would remind everyone for at least three months that she couldn't possibly do the dishes because of her broken toe. Who is your character and how would she react?

This can apply to plot, as well. The flow of one event to another has to make sense. It has to be real and believable even in fantasy.

2. Specific: It's not enough to say "As she slid the cookie sheet from the cupboard, her attention on not stepping on a cat, the blender toppled out and landed on her toe." Consider the specific details that might make that scene seem more real and draw the reader in. For example, what part of the cat is she trying not to step on? The paw, the tail, or just the fluff of the tail - because it does make a difference. Anyone who has a cat knows that. What brand is the blender? Does it break? Do her swears echo? What does the cat do? What does a toe feel like after a blender falls on it? Perhaps it depends on which toe, although I doubt it. Blenders are &%*^* heavy.

3. Sympathetic: This is the one I heard most about (from at least 3 separate presenters). Sympathetic characters. You have to give the reader a reason, very early on, why they should give a damn about what happens to your characters. If your main character is a rotten whiny brat, readers might cheer when that blender splats her toe. I doubt you want that. Somewhere, you need to give characters a quality that makes people want to cheer your character on and feel dread when something bad happens to them. Stephen Barbara gave a great example: he said it can be as simple as someone putting out their arm to prevent someone from stepping onto the street. A protective move - so simple - and yet shows great character. My example would be that your character needs the cookie sheet so she can bake cookies for her friend who's in the hospital. Aww, she was doing such a nice thing and look what happened. Poor thing. OOh, listen to the mouth on her!!

So there you have it. And now I have the perfect response for my wonderful husband if he ever asks me why I bother going to conferences. I can tell him it's so I can learn things like how to cover my ASS.

Lost Me/Found me

2008-05-06T09:45:00.000-06:00

I hinted a bit last month about a book I'd been reading that really didn't capture my attention the way it should have. Well, here's the full scoop.

KING OF THE LOST AND FOUND by John Lekich challenged me so much. By page 20 I was ready to put it down and walk away. Three things stopped me. 1.) I had paid for the book so I was going to read it, damn it. 2.) I wanted to learn from it - a sort of what not to do when you want to engage the reader and 3.) Morbid curiosity drove me to find out if it would get any better.

And you know what? It did get better. Around page 80.

Do you want inside my brain while I read those first 80 pages? Here I go:

~ oh, interesting. He's started the book by talking about himself. That's hard to do well. The main character sounds interesting.
~ oh dear. He's describing everyone he knows.
~ I'm on page 19! Where's the stinkin' dialogue??!
~ Telling, telling, telling ...
~ oh look! Backstory!
~ I think if he describes one more character without getting to the plot, I'm going to explode!
~ *insert cheers when Linda finds a couple of pages of dialogue.
~ ugh, more descriptions.

Anyway, you get the idea. But I will give John Lekich some credit. If I had only read the last two thirds of the book, I would have thought it was really good. The dialogue was natural, the main character was believable and likable. And the plot was interesting once it got going. It was almost like reading two separate books. The first third, written by a newbie who didn't know what he was doing. The last two thirds written by a master who can tell a really good story. Weird.

So what did I learn from this experience? Well, first of all, sometimes it pays to give a book a chance even when you don't like the beginning (although not always). But as a writer, I really understood how important it is to grab the reader from the beginning with not only an interesting character, but with dialogue and very little backstory. And make sure it all matters before sticking it in.

And believe it or not, when the writing was good, it was so good that I'd go pick up his other book, THE LOSERS' CLUB. But maybe from the library, just in case.

Words of Wisdom

2008-05-02T12:38:00.003-06:00

I consider myself a diligent note-taker, so when I attended SCBWI Western Washington last weekend, I expected to come home with fantastic notes.

Turns out, my notes suck. I'm not sure what happened. Maybe I was distracted just enough to only write down half a thought. Or maybe I felt I already knew everything (hehe, yeah, right). Either way, my notes seem to be requiring some translations from LindaGoo to English.

But here are some highlights of what I did manage to get out of the conference:

1). First Pages Session with Stephen Barbara and Liesa Abrams: voice and character are your greatest entryway into your story. When you're rejected, it's true that sometimes the timing just isn't right. SB is seeing a lot of dystopian/future stories come his way, which of course, is great news for me (insert sarcastic eye roll here) since that's what I'm writing.

2.) Susan Patron gave great advice to retype a book you love so you can understand how it feels to write that way. She also said that if you're stuck writing, the root could be that you don't know or understand your characters well enough. And her wisest words from that hour: "You know so much more than you know you know." Very clever lady.

3.) Liesa Abrams said, "The best writers are people who write, not people who want to be writers." For developing strong story concepts and hooks, she recommended turning to tv, movies and other books for ideas. Turn things upside down for a new perspective.

In retrospect, there are other sessions I wish I'd attended. But overall, it was a wonderful experience.

Oh, and best of all, SB did my first chapter consultation and said if I took his advice for revisions, he'd be happy to see the first 50 pages. Yay! Now if I could only bring myself to work on this project I'm truly sick of so I could do those revisions. Ugh.

A Journey

2008-04-29T11:20:00.003-06:00

I embarked on a journey this weekend and it's not the one you think. Yes, I did travel to Seattle Washington to attend the SCBWI Western Washington conference. True enough that I could call that a journey, I suppose. But that's not what this post is about. Not really, although, that is where my story begins.

This is my journey of dorkdom, where my weekend began with a simple, "oops," and spiraled through, "what did I just say," and ended at breakfast on Monday morning with an, "I'll regret saying that for the rest of my life."

I'm not a seasoned traveler and I've never taken a cab by myself before, so when I arrived at the Seattle Airport, I was way out of my comfort zone. But being strong was my motto for the weekend so I powered through, asked for directions to the cabs, didn't get lost, and got a cab. We tossed my bags into the trunk and we were on our way.

Imagine my surprise when the cabby wanted to know where I was going. Imagine again, my horror when I realized I'd left all the information in my laptop bag in the trunk. So there we were speeding down the highway, and me saying, "It's the Silver Cloud, Belleview. I'm sorry, I don't know the address."

The driver was kind enough to keep a pinky finger on the steering wheel while he gestured lots of buildings and asked in broken English, "Is it downtown surrounded by lots of buildings?"

"I don't know," I whined, keeping a close eye on the talented steering pinky. One pothole and we were both doomed. How was I supposed to know what was around the hotel? I'd never been there before. Wasn't he supposed to know where every building in Seattle was located so he wouldn't have these problems? Pulling over on the side of the highway was the cure, although very scary. He grabbed my bag for me and after looking at the address for 2 seconds, he laughed at me and said, "Yup, it's downtown." So there's my small oops, but it seemed to set in motion a few other oops's I'd much rather forget.

From this point on, I'm going to leave names out to keep things moderately anonymous for my own sanity. But if anyone who was there reads this, you'll know exactly who I mean.

1.) I pulled a dorky move at lunch on Saturday. A certain blueboarder who also happens to be familiar with Newbery awards sat at our table for lunch, but was on the other side - too far to really talk properly or even get her attention. We had exchanged emails in the past, so I felt I knew her and was dying to meet her, but couldn't catch her attention. Finally, toward the the end of lunch, our eyes met and I yelled out, "blueboarders" and pointed excitedly (and dorkily) to myself and Heather. Not, "Hi _____, it's so nice to meet you in person!" Not, "Hi! I'm Linda, sbk from the blueboards. We've exchanged emails in the past. Do you remember me?" No, those would have been wonderful ways to introduce myself. Nope. Instead, she got me yelling, "Blueboarders!!" I'm sure Heather would have preferred to crawl under the table, but we both smiled and waved. Certain Blueboarder waved back and asked who we were on the boards and I told her. And yes, she did come over and talk to us after lunch, but wow, the weird looks we got from all the people at the table we didn't know? Priceless.

2.) At the book signing table - A certain author who is well-known for banned books took his book from my hands and began signing, while I gushed about how much I'd enjoyed reading it. I started off sounding moderately intelligent and said things like, "I loved this book," and "I just wanted to yell at the main character and get him to tell someone he was dying!" I should have stopped there. Leave it to my mouth to start talking without permission from my brain. But no, I said, "I wanted to grab him by the neck and just shake him!" Oh yeah, and I was sure to get my hands involved in the conspiracy against my brain and stood there mimicking the neck shaking of this man's main character. Yeah. Fun times. Fun times.

3.) This one is too painful still to tell in detail, but it took place the morning after the conference in the hotel when I went to grab some breakfast. If enough people ask in the comments, I might go into more detail in another post, but for now, all I want to say is this: If a Newbery author, an agent and a big time (and I mean huge - HP huge) editor ask you to join them for breakfast, DON'T tell them no, even if you have what seems like a good reason at the time!! I promise you, the reason will feel really stupid when you get back to your agentless and editorless hotel room.

And that's all I've got to say about that. It was great meeting all the fantastic blueboarders that attended. I wish our table at dinner hadn't been so long so I could have gotten to know you guys at the other end, but it was still a great time. What a fantastic bunch of writers.

I'm Heading out

2008-04-25T08:20:00.002-06:00

Sorry I haven't posted much in the last couple of weeks. I've been getting myself ready to attend the SCBWI Western Washington conference. And I'm leaving today! Woohoo!

Can't wait to meet Heather! (Hi Heather)
Can't wait to meet other blueboarders! (Hi other blueboarders)

Not looking forward to flying. Hate flying. Very very much.

But I'm sure to learn a lot and eat more than I should, so here I go!

Notice how when I'm nervous my sentences get really short? Cuz I can't think about much other than airplanes and premature landings.

See ya next week when I'll have some posts for you about the conference, some mini book reviews for the month and relief to be tucked back away in my quiet little office on the ground.

Come on Get Happy

2008-04-11T12:33:00.000-06:00

Feel free to hum the Partridge Family Theme song while reading this post.

I've had a rough week of ups and downs and sickness and writer self-loathing so I decide we're in need of a feel-good post today. And what better way to feel good, than to talk about musicals.

I never thought I liked them. Aside from the standards, you know, The Sound of Music and The Wizard of Oz, I actually thought I hated them. But it turns out, I think I actually like them. I really really like them.

High School Musical started it off. I love that movie. It's so ... happy! And then Hairspray? It's so ... darn happy!

Assuming those were just exceptions to the rule, I kept telling people I didn't like musicals. Until someone pointed out that most Disney movies (animated) are musicals. Hmm... K, I like those too.

Maybe I do like musicals?

When Sweeney Todd was coming to theatres, my oldest son was beyond excited but he wasn't old enough to get into the theatre on his own. Cue mom, who volunteered to take him. But I wouldn't like it. No way. It was too dark for a musical. I only liked light and happy ... okay. I'll admit it. Sweeney Todd is amazing and we now own the DVD.

And when Shawn performed in his school's version of High School Musical last month, I was bursting with pride. I'm so glad he helped me see what I didn't see before.

I'm a musical nerd and I love musicals.

This is Shawn on stage. Sorry about the quality (cell phone photo).

Texting falls to a new low

2008-04-10T08:17:00.004-06:00

Quote from a teen:

"They like each other, but they're not really going out. They don't even text each other much."

So apparently phone calls don't count anymore. It's all about the texting that defines where a relationship stands. Is it me? Or is that just really sad?

Real Jumbled Stuff

2008-04-04T16:00:00.003-06:00

A couple of unrelated things:

1. In my last post, I totally forgot to mention two of the books I read last month! I've decided to save them for the end of this month so it can look like I read more. hehe.

2. I've seen a few relationships changing around me lately. A teen I know will do almost anything to hang onto his girlfriend and make the relationship work and I admire him for his efforts. A single mom I know who recently shacked up with her boyfriend has just kicked him out. Her response - "I'm 40 freakin' years old! I don't have the patience to raise another kid! I'm moving on." And you know? I admire her too. She recognized what wasn't working and walked away rather than torturing herself and her kids with a relationship that was heading for the toilet.

3. You can learn a lot about people if you just take the time to listen to how often they breathe in a sentence. Think about it.

4. When you ask a 6 year old girl to try on her bathing suit to make sure it fits before her first lesson, be darn sure she knows which way is front or she'll appear with it on backwards in the middle of the room and make grand public announcements to your guests that this bathing suit is "extremely inappropriate!" *cue the chest covering and leg crossing*

5. So ... why did she have to come downstairs to show everyone??? *shakes head*

6. I finally status queried Agent M to see what's going on with my ms. Still no answer, but I'm sure you guys will be the first to know when I hear.

7. Have a fantastic weekend, everyone!

March Reading '08

2008-04-01T11:53:00.002-06:00

What started out as a fantastic reading month quickly fizzled into oblivion as I trudged my way through some very uninspiring books. Because of this, I didn't read half of the books in my goal for the month.

Not all were bad, though.

NEW MOON by Stephenie Meyer (* * * *) YA - Book two of the Twilight series - I guess I never expect much from a second book (or a third for that matter) so I shouldn't have been surprised to see that New Moon wasn't as good as Twilight. BUT I still did love it. I guess the only thing missing for me was the chemistry and forbidden love tension that was so strong in Twilight. To sum it up, I missed Edward!! It wasn't the same without him. And somehow, Belle's awkward ways were more annoying than charming when she didn't have Edward around. I held out on buying the third book until I finished this one because I thought, if New Moon wasn't that great, then I'd just stop and not bother continuing ... well, I bought book three the next day and kept on reading.

ECLIPSE by Stephanie Meyer (* * * *) YA - Book Three of the Twilight series - The Edward lust was back! Thank goodness! Although I did enjoy this one as well, I couldn't help feeling that the writing was a little looser and there was sometimes too much backstory. In the end, I saw why it had to be there, but it could have been tightened. Still overall, very enjoyable. AND I had no idea there was going to be a fourth book so I had fully expected the story to resolve by the end. It was a pleasant surprise to learn there's yet another one coming. More Edward is never a bad thing. Like chocolate.

M IS FOR MAGIC by Neil Gaiman (* * *) MG/YA - I've never really spent much time reading short stories, so I'm not sure I'm qualified to give any real opinion of this collection, but overall, I'd say it was okay. Yes, just okay. Don't get me wrong. The writing was masterful and I can see how Neil Gaiman has gained such a reputation in the industry, but I just didn't get the stories. They didn't do anything for me but leave me with hundreds of questions. Maybe they were supposed to. But maybe I like things to be resolved for me. Ya know? If anyone else has read these short stories, I'd love to hear what you have to say about them.

KING OF THE LOST AND FOUND by John Lekich - I began this short book two weeks ago and haven't finished yet. I still plan to, but it's a struggle. I'll give this one it's own post when I finally finish. I think it'll need it and I'll need to vent about all the time I've wasted on it. 'nuff said.

Insomniac Ramblings

2008-03-30T04:38:00.003-06:00

It's 4:30 a.m. as I type this. I'm awake. I have not yet slept. As you can imagine, I'm very tired.

But apparently not tired enough to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh*

As I was lying in bed, trying so hard to ignore the fact that I wasn't sleeping, I realized something stupid. I actually call it writing when I'm thinking about my ms. I understand why that could work if I was sitting at the computer and trying to work out a scene. Okay, that counts. Mostly.

But when I'm lying in bed, not sleeping when I should be, and my mind wanders to my characters and the situations I want to put them in, I tell myself, "Linda! Stop writing or you'll never get to sleep."

Stop writing??

I'm in BED!! That's not writing!

Some of you may come back and argue, "No, no, Linda. You can call that writing. It's the 'planning stages' so you can be all revved up and ready to go tomorrow..."

Um ... no. Not really. I'm not buying it. In fact, I was so convinced that I was NOT writing while I was lying in bed (not sleeping) that I jumped up and rushed down to my laptop so I could actually do some writing so that in the morning when Brendan asks me why I couldn't sleep, I could actually say, "I was up writing."

Okay, that's not really true. I groaned, stumbled out of bed, almost fell off the toilet (did you really need to know that?) and wandered downstairs in search of something that would make me sleepy enough to get at least 4 hours of sleep before I had to get up.

Alas, I chose to blog. Did it work?

Well, I am a bit...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Typos and Emo's

2008-03-21T18:49:00.002-06:00

UPDATE: The meeting with evil teacher went well and I walked away feeling calm enough to get through spring break without totally losing my mind. More to come later when I have more info.

Our house has been full of drastic change over the last couple of weeks. Oldest son, Shawn (14), cut his hair and got highlights. Finally! Yay! He looks amazing and he loves it!

Today, second son, Bryan (12) went in for a cut and highlights as well, and came out with solid black hair. Normally a blond, this was a drastic change for him and he scares himself now when he walks into the bathroom and sees some stranger in the mirror. It's something he's always wanted and when I found out he could get a black that fades over time, I caved.

It looks fantastic, though, and he loves it. His classroom has a chat room where all the kids can hang out (sort of like MSN, but safer) and so when he came home, he posted a picture of himself on his home page. A couple of the girls in his class were online, so he told them he had black hair now and to check out his picture.

One girl's response was really great. She said, "Oh wow!!! When I pictured you with black hair, I knew it would be cool, but I didn't know you would look that AWWESOOOMMEE!!"

He was beaming, of course. The other girl's response was odd. After a long pause, she finally responded with, "EWWW! I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!!"

Bryan was a bit hurt and thought she was being kinda nasty, so he said back, "What's so ewww?"

I came in the room and he showed me her answer ... "GIRLS DON'T REALLY ... UMM ... let me talk to _______ and she'll help me figure out how to explain. I'll answer you later tonight."

Okay, so that was weird and it totally didn't make sense, so I asked Bryan, "What did you say to her?? Does she think you're too emo now? Or what?"

He was freaking out. He kept saying, "I have no idea what the problem is!!"

I said, "Go back. I want to see what you wrote to her. Something's wrong ..."

So he went. He showed me. I nearly peed my pants. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard and tears streamed down my cheeks.

Here's what Bryan actually told the girl in his class:

I HAVE BACK HAIR!!!

That boy has GOT to learn how to type!

Going in Cautious

2008-03-19T16:03:00.003-06:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day and I've done nothing all week but think about my strategy. I think I'm going to focus my energy tomorrow on the meeting with the teacher. When we're done, I'll schedule an appointment with the principal for after spring break which has officially started today.

I think this is my best way to go because I will have time to think clearly about what the teacher says to me in our meeting. Also, it'll give me a chance to speak with the other parent I mentioned and see if she can give me some specific things that this teacher has done to my daughter.

Wish me luck!!

Oh, and as a side note, I just have to say that the students of my son's junior high are all brilliant! They put on the most amazing performance of High School Musical and I'm very impressed with their talents. Congratulations to all 250 students who participated! You know who you are. :) And Shawn - Wow, you have amazed me once again with what you can do. Way to go!

Frazzled, Frustrated and Fed up

2008-03-15T17:43:00.002-06:00

I don't know where to start.

We're going to keep this a hypothetical conversation to make this easier on me.

What do you do with a happy, loving little girl who behaves well at home (as well as any girl her age, anyway), but whose teacher is constantly letting you know she "can't" seem to get along with any of the kids in her class? Obviously, you start by doing whatever you can to help out. You talk to your daughter about making good choices and being a good friend.

But what about after you witness a few events where it was actually the other kids doing something wrong? You begin to hear stories from older siblings and kids from down the street that the other kids in the class are really mean to your daughter. What do you do then? You talk to the teacher, don't you?

But what if you're told by the teacher it's still always your daughter's fault and the kids are only responding to things your daughter has done to them earlier? You speak to the resource teacher and she feeds you the same line. It's suddenly obvious that these two women have spoken.

Okay, now, what if your daughter's best friend gets moved to a different class with only 3 months left in the school year. After speaking with the parent, you discover that your daughter's teacher has been cruel, sarcastic and overall rotten to the other child and that there are several other students in the class who are treated poorly, as well.

How do you respond when this parent then tells you to watch out! Your daughter is now number one on that teacher's hit list.

I have parent teacher interviews in 2 days. I don't know how to approach this. I'm angry, hurt, and royally fed up.

I want to go to the principal, but as it stands right now, I have no real proof of wrongdoing, other than gut instinct that there is something seriously wrong with this teacher. And daughter isn't talking.

A Momentary Tantrum

2008-03-13T12:15:00.002-06:00

Excuse me while I take a moment to stray from my calm, well-mannered waiting to hear from Agent M ...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!

Four and a half months and counting. Will be status querying beginning of April, but would prefer to NOT have to do that.

We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging ...

February Reading '08

2008-03-03T22:06:00.002-07:00

It was a slow month for me. A lot of sickness and a lot of basketball invaded our house. But I did manage to get through a few books.

THE JANITOR'S BOY by Andrew Clements - MG (* * *) - I struggled reading this book. I put it down often, forced myself to pick it up only to put it down again minutes later. And yet, there was nothing wrong with it. I've recently realized that the books that really move me are deeper somehow and reach me on a real emotional level. Maybe that's why I'm more drawn to YA books, but I think it's more than that. It wasn't enough for me that this boy was embarrassed to be the janitor's son. I needed more angst, more conflict, and a more complex plot. But again, this is me. The book itself was fine. Just as HOOT was fine, it just wasn't my style. As surprised as I am to write this, I believe I've just discovered I'm not a middle grade book kind of girl.

SPEAK by Laurie Halse Anderson - YA (* * * * *) - From the moment I read the first lines of the first pages, I was hooked. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the train wreck of a main character. What was her secret? Would she ever be able to speak of it? How long can she continue her self-destructive behaviour because she can't/won't talk about what happened back in August? A haunting book about depression and how a secret can eat you alive - SPEAK is one of those books I think all kids should read - to learn the consequences of bottling your problems and to understand that help is always there if you can find the courage to ask for it.

FEED by M.T. Anderson - YA (* * * *) - Two words. Very disturbing. Why should it be disturbing? It's just a book about one possible future. Easy to say until you realize that this future has so many possibilities of becoming reality. The commercialism, the lack of intellectual thought, the decline of the English language. Hell, we're already halfway there. M.T. Anderson thought of everything in this future that we're all afraid to see. He impressed me so much with his detail, he shook my confidence for my own novel, but at least that was temporary. I'm okay now (in case you were wondering). If I could change anything about this novel, it would be the way the main characters challenge the Feed. I felt as though it only skimmed the surface and I would have loved to see more of a fight. Very cool book, though.

DEADLINE by Chris Crutcher - YA (* * * * *) - I picked this book up the other day because Chris Crutcher is one of the presenters at the conference I'm going to in April. At first glance, this story looks like a book about a dying kid who doesn't want anyone to know. It took me a while, but I finally saw through that - it was more of an exploration of truth and living life. A little heavy on the football references, but I laughed and cried through this emotional roller coaster. Don't read this one if you can't handle tough topics, though. Bipolar disorder, incest and child molestation are sprinkled throughout. I loved how Chris dealt with those topics - tough enough to make you realize the reality of those issues, but not enough to beat you over the head with them. I've recommended this one to my 14 year old son and he's looking forward to it. I'm positive he'll love it.

Well, that's it for another month. I've got big plans for March, so watch out. :)

A Discovery in Character

2008-02-24T21:13:00.003-07:00

A strange thing happened to me today while I was petting one of my cats. I realized that I'd let my mind turn him into an underdeveloped character. It's easy to do. He's what I'd consider the shy one, the quiet one, maybe even the one who goes unnoticed a lot of the time. It's easy for that to happen in a house where the other two cats have very strong personalities.

Twix, for example, is very much like Donkey from Shrek. He's loud, boisterous and very demanding of attention from anyone who'll give it. But loyal and faithful to the core. Then there's Butterscotch who has the strange habit of dunking shoe laces into her water dish and hanging over the sides of our stub walls like a tiger. She's loyal too, as long as you keep feeding her and don't step on her tail too many times.

But Snickers? Nothing really stands out about him. At first glance he has a flat character. Sure, he's warm and friendly, but there's no real quality about him that makes him stand out. But is this really him? Or is this a fault in my thinking? Maybe because he's so quiet, I'm not paying enough attention to what makes him unique. Or have I labelled him as the quiet one and now that's the little hole he has to fit into from now on? Is that enough?

Have I done that with my characters?

*Long pause. *

Maybe.

As I sat there petting Snickers I looked deeper. He has a real personality, just like the others - I simply needed to look harder.

~While Twix can't devour his food fast enough, Snickers takes his time and enjoys every bite.
~Snickers likes to be held like a baby.
~Things look better from high up.
~He sounds like an alien when he meows his lonely meow. Kind of a half meow- half purr sort of sound.

Now, I just have to go take a close look at my characters and decide if I've shoved them into a little hole too. The shy one, the outgoing one, the cursed one. What other qualities do they have that make them break out of their bonds I've shackled them to?

I know this all seems so obvious and it's not like I haven't heard all this before, but there was something in that 'Snickers moment' that made me realize I don't take the time to get to know my characters enough. Or my cats, apparently.

So sorry Snickerdoodle. You're not just the quiet one. You're so much more.

Sicklies

2008-02-19T11:29:00.002-07:00

I haven't been around a lot. Here's a quick update.

I gave up on Fast Drafting February after getting 12,000 words into the novel. I've started back at the beginning and I'm rewriting it a different way. I think it's better for it ... I guess my crit group will let me know if I'm wrong. Right guys?

Last week, middle son was home sick. Now, lucky me ... I've got it too. My head feels like it's being crushed by an elephant which is why this post is going to be so short.

Anyway, now you know why I haven't been around much ... and won't likely be for another week or so.

Hope you all had a nice Valentine's Day.

Busy busy

2008-02-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

I owe you a blog post. Don't really feel like doing one.

Supposed to be fast drafting this month. Between all the days off the kids have and all the other crap I have to do ... not going too well. It's day seven ... only written around 2,000 words. Hope today will be better.

Currently reading ON WRITING by Steven King. Amusing. More on that later.

Wish me luck. Got a whole novel to write in one pathetically short month.

Writing tip: fragments are not your friend. Unless you're unmotivated.

I'm such a Wimp!

2008-01-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

I won't bore you with the details, but the new book I'm working on involves my characters being exposed to extremely cold temperatures on occasion. I grew up in Winnipeg, Manitoba, so I'm no stranger to brutal winter temperatures. I was confident that I'd clearly remember what it's like to be so cold you can't feel your toes and fingers or when the air stings your lungs so hard it hurts to breathe.

We just hit a cold snap in Calgary (there's an understatement if I ever heard one) and I was sitting here all snuggled close to my computer, trying to write a believable paragraph about the cold. My brain clicked and I was suddenly a genius! It's -48 outside with the windchill this morning ... to know how my characters are feeling, all I need to do is go stand outside for ten minutes and while I may look nuts, it's called research. It's what writers do, isn't it?

I grabbed my jacket, tossed on some boots and opened the door. I was hit with a blast of cold that I haven't felt in maybe 20 years. I stood there staring at the blinding white snow, at my neighbour trying to start his car, and the nut down the street doing his shoveling ... So, how did my research go, you ask?

I wouldn't know.

I slammed the door and made myself a hot chocolate.

I've done two posts today, so don't forget about the lonely one below ...

When nerds get bored

2008-01-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

This has got to be the coolest thing I've seen in a long time. It makes me smile. And laugh.

ahem ... and it's oddly addicting. I don't want to admit how many times I've watched this video.

Hank gets bored at the airport

December/January Reading

2008-01-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

I completely forgot to post the books I read in December. To be honest, I didn't get that much reading done. I did get a lot of shopping done, though.

Anyway, here I go ...

ALEX AND THE IRONIC GENTLEMAN by Adrienne Kress - MG (* * *) - I had so much fun reading this book. Kids will love the voice in this one and the way the Adrienne makes you feel like you're along for the ride in Alex's adventures. Her humour is refreshing and silly. After I've said so many positive things about this book, I bet you're wondering why I only gave it three stars. These are minor reasons, but added together, I felt they kept the book from receiving a higher rating. It's a little long for a middle grade. As much as I loved Adrienne's ability to smoothly "talk" to the reader (think "Series of Unfortunate Events"), I'm not a huge fan of that style. So it will work great for some readers and not for others. Overall, I recommend this book for anyone who loves a great adventure and who enjoys a good story.

THE MIRACULOUS JOURNEY OF EDWARD TULANE by Kate DiCamillo - MG (* * * * *) - This is one of those books that you wish you had written yourself. The writing is flawless, the artwork is magnificent, the story is beautiful. It was hard for me to read because I had to go one chapter at a time as I read to my daughter at bedtime each night. She would beg me to read more, and sometimes I'd throw in an extra chapter because I needed to see what would happen to the little china rabbit named Edward. This has become my daughter's favourite book and one of mine, too. This is destined to be a classic that will be read and enjoyed by our great-great grand children.

HOOT by Carl Hiaasen - MG (* * *) Because this one received the Newbery Honour, I had high expectations. I was a little disappointed. I guess I enjoyed the characters and the mystery aspect of the story, but I kept feeling that something was missing. I still haven't figured out what it is, but I guess a story about saving the owls wasn't enough for me. I still gave it three stars because overall, the writing is strong. I guess it just doesn't fit with my kind of fiction. Maybe that's it.

BONE (Book 1) by Jeff Smith - MG (* * * *) This was my first graphic novel. I've always hated comic books so I figured I'd hate this, too. The weird thing? I didn't hate it. I actually really enjoyed it. I read Bone because my son (12) is addicted to the books. He said I had to try them. I didn't want to like an of them; I even groaned when I picked up Book 1 to start reading, but you know, I did really enjoy the story. The illustrations are fantastic and the humour is perfect for boys. I can see how my son got so hooked. I'll admit that I don't plan on reading the rest of the series because despite my enjoyment, I still prefer more words than pictures. But that's just me.

THE BOOK THIEF by Markus Zusak - YA (* * * * *) Wow! Amazing. Written from the point of view of Death himself, this historical fiction focuses on a girl's life in Nazi Germany just before the war. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about this one. I was sucked in on the first page and it didn't let go until the last page. I haven't cried this hard over a book in a long time. Beautifully haunting.

CITY OF BONES by Cassandra Clare - YA (* * * *) Cassandra has put up with a lot of grief from ignorant readers who remember her from her days as a fan-fiction writer. And I hate that. CITY OF BONES was filled with amazing characters, brilliant banter, and a compelling story. Twists and turns all throughout kept me wanting to know how things would finally end. I look forward to book 2. The only reason I didn't give this a five star rating is that I felt her writing could have used some tightening in various spots. But, yeah, this is a book my oldest son will definitely love - shadow hunters, vampires, werewolves and blood and gore. It doesn't get better than that!

Mute Driving

2008-01-19T11:32:00.000-07:00

First, a bit of background ... Back in December, Brendan and I went to a friend's Christmas/birthday party. It was freezing that night and already dark when we pulled up to the house. Because we're organized and pre-plan everything we do (haha), we had a card ready but not signed. So before we headed to the house, I flicked on the interior light of the van, signed the card, ripped the price tag off the gift, shoved it all in a gift bag and off we went.

Now jump ahead several hours to the end of the party. I'm socially worn out, my legs hurt from standing all night and it's almost -30 degrees out (for you American's, that converts to friggin' cold).

And the van won't start. Take that back. Not only will it not start, but it's totally, 100% dead.

*LInda raises her hand* Yup. My fault!! I left the interior light on and drained the battery.

Jump ahead again. No worries -- one of the guys at the party had jumper cables and we were on our way in just a few minutes. But there was a casualty. My sad little stereo. Yes, it has a "feature" that once it loses power, you have to enter a code for it to work again. Not a big deal IF YOU KNOW THE CODE!!!!

So I've been doing my mom chauffeuring 'duties' without a bop in my signaling; without a groove in my breaking; without chair dancing or singing-to-myself-songs.

And I'm oh, so lost.

Do Me a Favour

2008-01-15T19:56:00.000-07:00

Do me a favour and don't cut me off when I'm driving and talking on the phone. It makes things way too complicated and I don't want you to cause an accident.

Do me a favour and don't beg to read my latest manuscript and then forget to read it for 6 months. Writers have poured their souls into their books and for you to forget about reading it is like leaving one of our kids in the shoe department at Wal-mart. You just don't do it.

Do me a favour and don't offer to take my 6 year old to the park and then take her home instead. It's a little awkward for me when she's half an hour late coming home and I can't find her where she's supposed to be. And call me a anal, but when I say I want her home at 4:00, I mean 4:00-- not 4:45.

Do me a favour and don't stand in front of me in the express line at the store when you have 25 things in your basket! That's not express!

Do me a favour and celebrate with me because I'm going to SCBWI Western Washington conference in April!! Woohoo!

I found her!

2008-01-08T14:22:00.001-07:00

She's been missing for so long, you have no idea how excited I was to find her. I was typing along, minding my own business when BOOM! my main character showed up!

And she's adorable! She's this tiny little thing who probably won't ever grow past 5' but she's full of fire. The problem? She wants to control the novel.

I know! The nerve!

I'd intended for this one to be a MG written in third person. Well, she went and took over and insisted I tell her story in first person. And the way she's acting, I think she's aiming for this to be a YA novel, which I'm not sure I can live with. And she's acting like a 14 year-old! Ahem, she's supposed to be 11! How did this happen? Aren't writers supposed to be in control?

SShhhh! ... Here's my plan. For now, I'll let her and her cutie friend, Blake, think they're in charge. But when it comes time to revise, baby, watch out! I'm cutting her down a few notches.

Another day; another mishap

2008-01-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

This blog comes in several parts:

Part 1: The kids are back in school today and ... wait! Can you hear that? It sounds a bit like ... SILENCE! I might actually get some writing done today!

Part 2: I'm starting my new novel today and I still have no characters, no real plot to speak of and no idea how to start. I figure they'll show up when they're ready. For now, I plan to fake it. I'll just start writing and see what happens.

Part 3: I owe you another mishap.

Our house is full of Harry Potter fans and I thought I was being very clever when I ordered HP chocolate wands from Alivan's online shop. They are well known for their quality products and replicas. From the picture, the wands looked like exact replicas of Harry's wand and I could imagine the squeals of glee we would hear on Christmas morning when our Potter geeks all opened their wands. I'm clever like that.

Christmas morning did not go as planned, however. Yes, there were excited murmurs and comments of how cool Santa was to know where to find these wands ... but then came the "Oh no's!" and the "Well, it would have been cool's." Yes, every single one arrived broken in about 6 pieces. As each box was opened, it became more certain that there was no hope for the others. Kelly kept saying, "Why would Santa give us broken wands?"

What do you say to a six year old who isn't ready to know the truth about the Post office being Santa? You blame turbulence. We explained that the sleigh must have had a bumpy ride over the ocean. But it didn't change anything. Not really. Santa had let Kelly down.

To be fair, Alivan's stepped up and refunded our money within 15 minutes of receiving our email. They apologized and felt terrible about the problem. They took the wands off their site and said they will no longer sell them unless the company who makes them figures out how to ship them safely.

But it's still a big disappointment. Ya know?

Part 4: I've just figured out that blogging is a great way to procrastinate starting a new novel that has no character, no real plot and no first line.

Part 5: I lied. I've known all along. That's why I'm here.

hehe ... oops

2008-01-04T00:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll admit I thought I was back, and in my defense, when I wrote that last post I had every intention of returning the next day and starting the mishaps entries. And then I got very sidetracked with kids and room painting and ... and ... being lazy. And now? Well, I've forgotten half the mishaps because I was stupid and didn't write them down. So ... now there will only be ... well there will be less than twelve unless I have a memory breakthrough (very doubtful).

The kids go back to school on Monday and I have that day scheduled for getting back on track with blogging and writing. Wish me luck.

In the meantime, I'll start you off with Mishap # 1.

Brendan asked me if I'd bake one of my famous cheesecakes for his office potluck lunch just before Christmas. He offered to buy some cookies and take those if I was too busy, but I told him no way would I let him take store bought cookies to the potluck when everyone was expecting my famous cheesecake. No way! It's a busy time of year, but I figured it would be okay to spend an afternoon quietly working on a project that didn't involve finding parking, waiting in line, or fighting the crowds as I made my way from The Gap to the food court.

Well, something interesting happened on my way to cheesecake perfection. It's called disaster. Should I have noticed the strange smell coming from the graham crumbs instead of dismissing the odour as something "burning" at the bottom of the oven. Yes. Did I ignore it instead? Yes.

As usual, I pulled the cheesecake from the oven and admired it's form. Perfection. I'd done it again. And yet, there was the smell. I couldn't quite figure out why the "burnt oven smell" was so strong when I hovered my nose above the cheesecake, but I wasn't worried. I think at this point it's called denial.

Oh look! A few crumbs from the crust had fallen to the counter. I pinched them in my fingers and tossed them into my mouth and almost gagged. As the crumbs burned holes into my tongue, I couldn't decide if I should just swallow them really fast or make a dash for the garbage can so I could spit them out. I opted for swallowing -- whatever got those damn things off my tongue the fastest. Ah lovely ... the acidic taste of rancid graham crumbs. And the sound of Linda swearing her head off, hoping her six year old will stay upstairs so she can keep swearing her head off until the nausea passes.

I love baking. Really, I do.

So yes, I learned something new that day. Graham crumbs have a shelf life. I'm not sure what it is, but however long they were in my pantry was probably about 6 months too long, I'd say.

So what did I send for the potluck? Store bought cookies, of course.

I'm back!

2007-12-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hi all! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

I'm going to run a series this week ... The twelve days of mishaps.

I'll bring you the first in the series either later today or tomorrow, depending on how busy it gets around here with all the kids home.

It's great to see you again! I'm refreshed and ready to blog my way into the New Year!

Yeehaw!

A Blogging Break

2007-12-03T11:46:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a couple of weeks off. I will not post a blog, read a blog or visit a website for the next week or two.

I need to find my sanity. The only thing I know for certain right now ---> it's not here.

See ya'll in a bit.

Filing a missing person's report

2007-11-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

If I had a photo, I'd post it and ask, "Has anyone seen this person?" Sadly, I do not have a photo. I don't know what she looks like.

She's been lost for a long time. In fact, I'm not even sure she really exists. She's around 13 or 14 years old and lives around Canmore, Alberta (just outside of Banff). She's been accused of some pretty crazy things and people around there are starting to wonder if she might be a witch, but I don't know anything else. And it's really bothering me.

Should I file a report? Will the RCMP think I'm crazy if I tell them what I know? Is she really a missing person or are the rumours true? Has she fled to the mountains to live her life out as a recluse? Let's do a rundown:

Her hair colour - wish I knew
Eye colour - whatever
Height - maybe kinda tall, but I'm really not sure
Sports - could she like basketball? Hard to say. Maybe she's a figure skater.
Friends - don't get me started. For all I know, she's a loner
Family - I don't even know who her parents are!

Please help me find her! I can't start writing my new novel without her!

I guess the real question is: How do you write a novel if your characters refuse to show up for work each day?

November Reading

2007-11-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

I spent most of the month on revisions, so I didn't read as much as I would have like, but here we go:

THIRTEEN REASONS WHY by Jay Asher - YA (* * * * *) - It's not too hard to figure out how I feel about this book. If you missed it, try going here.

DEMONKEEPER by Royce Buckingham - MG (* * * *) - I think what I found appealing about this book was the brilliant use of action and humour. It read like a Disney movie, and I mean that in the most positive way possible. I think it was because of the intense plot and the jokes, but for the first time ever, I played the scenes of a book through my mind as animation. The main character, the demons, and even the bad guy - they were all animated. Weird.

As for the plot, well, it is fast-paced and wild. I was looking for a book that had a relentless plot and I found one. Kids will love it for its gore, it's slapstick humour, the lovable main character and the coolest demons ever. I think DEMONKEEPER would also be beneficial for reluctant readers, especially boys.

STORY OF A GIRL by Sara Zarr - YA (* * * *) - You know this one's going to be tough to put down with a first line that reads ... "I was thirteen when my dad caught me with Tommy Webber in the back of Tommy's Buick, parked next to the Old Chart House down in Montara at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday night." And it doesn't disappoint. This is a story about a girl trying to fight her reputation and her non-existent relationship with her father. STORY OF A GIRL was a National Book Award finalist.

Jay Asher Rocks!

2007-11-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

Shawn isn't the only lucky duck in this house.

I just won an audio book of Jay Asher's THIRTEEN REASONS WHY! And I think that is just about the coolest thing.

Check out his blog and his website and you'll figure out pretty quickly why you should either read or listen to this book. Or both!

Thanks Jay!

Vlad Tod in my House

2007-11-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

Last night, while we were all tucked away in the family room watching tv, we had a vampirey kind of visitor come knocking at our door. Yes, Vlad Tod from EIGHTH GRADE BITES dropped by for a drink of blood. Thankfully, we keep some chilled in the freezer at all times because, well, you never know when a teenage vampire might stop by for a cocktail.

Vlad turned out to be a pretty cool guy and let us snap some photos of him with his biography. A good time was had by all.

To Boldly Go!

2007-11-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

Two years of writing a rough draft. Three more years to revise. One month to polish and get it just right.

And away I go!

I just sent my first baby out into the nasty world of publishing for the first time. I'm a wreck, but I can't help being excited to finally reach this milestone. I never thought I'd get here; to the point where I'm looking forward to rejection.

I'm sure you'll hear all about it when Agent M gets back to me. Let's hope it's not six months from now. I'm not sure my heart can take the wait.

Inspired or Inadequate?

2007-11-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

I love nothing more than being kept up all night by a good book. Last night, the culprit was Jay Asher's THIRTEEN REASONS WHY. I think it was around page 30 when I admitted to myself that it didn't matter that it was already past 10:00 pm. I was not putting this book down until it was done. So yes, I stayed up almost all night finishing it.

The characters were compelling. The situation was unique. It wasn't even my drive to find out what happens that kept me reading. We know at the beginning how it will all end. That's not a secret. I decided early on that if Clay couldn't stop listening to the tapes, then I shouldn't either. I wanted my experience to mirror his.

What did Jay Asher do to me? What genius lies in his brain that put those perfect words on paper? How was he able to grab me so early on, and effortlessly make me think it was my idea that I had to stay up with Clay? If I knew, I'd write my own book.

Okay, I'm already doing that. And yes, it was around Jay's page 20 or so that I teared up and thought to myself, "Nothing you ever write will be this good." I stopped reading and thought about those words I'd just muttered.

So negative. How could one book convince me that I'm inadequate? Should I let it have that much power over me? Hell, no. By page 21 I'd moved on to being inspired. If Jay Asher could do it, then damn it, so could I.

So I'm sitting here today, with toothpicks propping my eyelids, plowing through my revisions. Beside me sits THIRTEEN REASONS WHY as a constant reminder of what I'm aiming for.

Thanks Jay. You are my hero.

Waaaa!

2007-11-06T12:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, I lied. Shoot me. My revisions are killing me!

I'm at the fine-tuning stage, right? So of course I want to get every word just right. I had a gut feeling that I was slightly overusing a few words, so I used the Find function. I thought I was being all clever. I'll nip a few extra words out and be on my way. Instead, here's how it went:

My heart sank when the first numbers appeared. I had referred to Colton's heart 19 times! I shook my head and moved on. Nothing could be as bad as that. My fingers shook, and tears came to my eyes as I stared at the screen:

shook = 48 times!
tears = 23 times!
stared = 50 times!

Holy!! How did I not notice these before? I'm sure there must be others. I just need to figure them out. The good news, my characters only gasped 7 times. It's a good thing because I'm doing enough gasping for everyone right now.

Colton! Stop all that shaking and crying and staring or I'll give you something to cry about. And shake about. And um ... stare at.

Never mind.

Edited to add: Help me! It's worse than I thought! Once you factor in staring and shaking, the numbers are even higher.

71 shakes

68 stares

My ms is only 190 pages! This is not good.

Revisions, gardening and farts - Can you guess which two of these are related topics?

2007-11-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

My revisions are coming along really well so far - I might even be ready to send my ms off by next week. I'm right on schedule. The strange thing is, I'm not even nervous anymore. I'm just a revising machine with one thing on my mind: submission. I'm not stressing about the possibilities of it getting lost in cyberspace, or of getting a rejection five minutes after I send it. Nope. Just plowing through the ms. I'm a gardener - mowing the lawn, planting flowers... Now if I can manage not to over-fertilize and scorch the lawn or accidentally mistake some peonies for weeds, then I'll be good to go.

On a totally different topic, my kids all decided that the queen does indeed fart, and she likely saves everything up all day. That way, she can let the good ones rip when she's alone at night in the bathroom. Just thought you ought to know, you know, in case you were wondering.

A true tale of Terror on 'E' Street.

2007-11-01T07:44:00.000-06:00

I could hear them screaming from down the street. I sped up. My heart, thumping to the beat of "Thriller," dropped a few inches in my chest.

My friends giggled and laughed at the idea of going. I knew better. This was serious business. It would not get the best of me this year.

I stopped when I saw it. The house. Orange lights lit the path, same as always. Somehow though, orange lights are never quite bright enough. A black coffin stretched across the lawn. There was usually something dead in there. As we drew closer, the details of the rest of the lawn came into focus. A skeleton sprawled across the lawn. An arm here, a stray leg there.

New this time, gravestones. Everywhere. More screaming. My breath caught in my throat. Were those from inside the house? Did these people have a dungeon? Would I be their next victim?

My friends ran up the front walk, past all the creepy stuff. Afraid of being alone on the street, I followed. But it was a mistake. A dead guy sat propped up in a lawn chair on the front porch. What kind of sick freaks lived here? My friend rang the doorbell. I just wanted to run.

At least my friends had figured it out. This was not a game. We giggled nervously and huddled together as far from the dead guy as we could. "Ring the doorbell again," I whispered.

Just as my friend reached out her hand across the doorway, the door creaked open. At first I was relieved to have the light spilling out into the night -- then I saw it had only lit the dead guy up. I turned my head to see who had answered the door.

"Hey there, girls." The woman said. "The candy's over there in the bowl" She pointed to the dead guy. Beside him sat a skeleton holding a bowl of candy.

"You're not serious!" I said.

"What, you're not afraid, are you? How old are you? 13? Seriously, little kids under eight have had no problems."

My heart had forgotten about "Thriller" and had gone on strike. Was it beating at all? I hugged my friends. They giggled and hugged back.

"Oh look!" said the woman. "Here's another little guy. You watch, he'll have no problems." As he wandered up the stairs, she pointed him to the candy. "It's over there, bud."

I couldn't believe it! He walked right over and took some. The skeleton didn't move. No zombies reached around the corner. Maybe this was okay after all. "You go first." I jabbed my friends in the back and they crept over to the candy. I hid behind them. One reached over to the bowl and snatched some Sweetarts and ran back to our huddle corner. My other friend, hesitated. I pushed at her. "Go!" She grabbed a chocolate bar and ran.

It was my turn. Keeping my eyes on the dead guy the whole time, I reached over to the bowl, was about to grab some Dubble Bubble, when the dead guy snatched my hand and said, "grrrrrr!!"

I screamed. My friends screamed. They were giggling like crazed freaks in an asylum. Why were they laughing? I yanked my hand from the dead guy and ran. When I hit the end of the driveway, I collapsed. I didn't care if I was in the middle of the street. A voice echoed from the house ... "Don't you want your candy? Come on back!"

I managed to squeak out, "I'll pass, thanks." I waved to the lady and she went back into her house.

I don't care what people say, I'm never going back to that house again. At least, not until next Hallowe'en.

Hallowe'en Fun

2007-10-30T22:31:00.000-06:00

I live to scare kids. Unfortunately, parents generally frown upon strangers traumatizing their young ones. Except for one night of the year. Yes, Hallowe'en -- the night where parents from our neighbourhood drag their little tots up our front sidewalk kicking and screaming just so they can get spooked.

Ah, I love the sound of kids screaming and running from our house. Of course, I always reward them with handfuls of candy for enduring our scare tactics. This year, my oldest son has decided he's too old to go trick or treating. He's chosen to step up our efforts in scaring the kiddies.

Stay tuned for an update on how this scaredventure went. In the meantime, take a peak at a few of the photos from last year's decorations.

Mwaaahhhaaahaaahaaaa!!!

SiWC

2007-10-24T15:48:00.000-06:00

While preparing for the conference, I made sure I had everything taken care of at home. I printed off a schedule of the kids' activities and filled Brendan in on all the school things he'd need to know about. I thought I'd done pretty well. A quick talk to six-year-old Kelly about how many days I'd be gone and extra hugs to make up for the ones I'd miss topped off my last night home - I was ready.

So, how did day one go? Well, let's see. Brendan got a call from the school part way through the day to ask what he'd like them to do about the pebble stuck up Kelly's nose. His response, "Um, can you get it out please?" Thankfully, they managed to snort it out before it turned into an eight-hour emergency room wait. Why do kids wait for Mom to go away to do these things?

Aside from the fact that a typo on my perfect schedule had Kelly showing up for skating lessons at the end of the lesson and the terrible construction traffic made Bryan 45 minutes late for his basketball game, the rest of weekend went quite smoothly without me. I think I might have been missed a bit, though. ;-)

How was the conference, you ask? Amazing!

I ventured into the world of writers and was pretty much scared the whole time I was there, but I didn't let that stop me. I met new people, had an interview with an agent and got amazing feedback on my first pages from a panel of agents. I came away from this weekend with a whole new attitude and a whole new perspective on life. I realized that if I can do all those things and survive, all the stupid little things that scare me are a waste of time. How weird is it to hear me say that?

I'm done being afraid of stuff.

Oh, one thing I'm still terrified of ... the agent asked me for a full! and I'm still not quite done working on it.

Excuse me while I go throw up.

I'm all shook up

2007-10-18T09:06:00.000-06:00

I'm off to the airport in a couple of hours. My first conference. I'm excited, nervous, terrified, thrilled ...

Despite the need to keep reminding myself to breathe, I'm doing okay. Clearly this trip will need to be approached with baby steps. If I think about the big picture and everything I'm worried about, I won't make it out the front door.

So, I'm baby stepping my way to the airport.
Baby stepping my way on the plane.
Baby stepping off the plane and into a cab.

Well, okay, you get the idea.

Here's what I'm nervous about:

Meeting new people
Having nothing to say when I should have something to say
Having to explain my book to someone but going blank
My interview with agent/editor - see above 3 issues
My weird issue about not being able to remember people's faces even when we've just met the day before
Sitting with people I don't know at meals (which would be pretty much everyone there)

Here's what I'm excited about:

Meeting new people
Getting to meet agents/editors/other writers
The workshops!!
New books and signings

I'm sure when I get back Sunday night I'll be a mess. I'll likely sleep for days. As soon as I can manage to wrap my brain around the weekend I'll let you know how it went.

One Hoodie for Us, Thank You!!!!

2007-10-16T07:42:00.000-06:00

Unbelievable!

Last week Shawn won $100 at his school fundraiser. I thought, wow, lucky kid. I somehow also thought, mwaahaahaa! Now that he's used up all his luck, Vladamir Tod's Hoodie is MINE! I'll definitely win it now.

Well, sure enough, I didn't win.

But Shawn did! He got the news yesterday after school that he is indeed a winner of this hoodie:

We'll post pictures of Shawn wearing it as soon as it comes.

Thanks Heather Brewer for writing such a fantastic book for boys and for holding a great contest! Anyone interested in trying out for a hoodie can go to Heather's blog - she'll be giving them away all month.

Oh, and thanks for the hoodie. I just hope shawn lets me borrow it once in a while.

Synopsis

2007-10-12T08:12:00.000-06:00

I'm doing something today I've never done before. I'm writing my synopsis. As of right now, I feel confident and knowledgeable about what needs to be done -- I brushed up on Miss Snark's crap-o-meter and spent a good portion of yesterday doing research. I'm ready.

In fact, I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. How hard could it be? I'll have this done in no time.

1. Give just enough detail to reveal the important points of the plot.
2. Don't give too much detail, though.
3. Vague descriptions are the devil's work.
4. Use punchy words.
5. Don't overdo the adjectives, adverbs, gerunds or ellipses.
6. Make it long enough that you've explained the full plot.
7. Not too long, though or no one will read it.
8. Make it interesting, using the same voice you use in the novel.
9. Don't get too carried away with retelling the story. Stick to the facts.
10. Don't bother with subplots.
11. List all major characters and their roles.
12. Explain why things are happening.
13. Why should anyone care what happens?
14. Make character motivations clear.
15. Don't get lost in listing events...

Um. I'm in trouble.

Orlando Bloom Craze

2007-10-10T10:13:00.000-06:00

A normal day for me ... anywhere between 10 and 15 hits on my blog. A great day would be 20 to 30. I'm comfortable with those numbers because I know the people who are coming are either friends or other writers.

Until now.

Yesterday I had over 100 hits and today is looking to be about the same. What changed? I have no idea. All I know is that when I check my stat counter, everyone who has visited my blog in the last two days has been googling Orlando Bloom images. Okay, I remember doing a post about my guilt-free three way back in May (was it May?) and I posted a link to a picture of Orlando. But why are all these people showing up on my blog now?

Thank goodness they haven't been leaving any comments. If you come around and see that I've turned commenting off, you'll understand why. I'm being invaded by Orlando fans!

Help!!

Edward Cullen Lust

2007-10-03T13:27:00.000-06:00

After staying up with him all night last night, I can't shake him from my foggy brain . His crooked grin, his dark eyes, his thirst ... I confess, I am obsessed with Edward Cullen.

In the beginning it was harmless enough. An innocent crush I often get on the male characters in certain novels. The more I got to know him, though, the more intense my reaction grew. The closer he came to kissing/biting Bella - the more tortured he was - the more I had to read. I had to know! Would it work out between them? Did I want it to? Of course not. I wanted Edward for myself. What difference is it to me that he's not only a fictional character, but a vampire to boot. No matter. An insignificant detail that only small-minded people consider important.

Have you read TWILIGHT by Stephenie Meyer? If not, I can only hope you'll stay away from Edward when you do. He's mine.

Now where's my copy of NEW MOON? ... must read book 2!!

September Reading

2007-10-02T08:06:00.000-06:00

I'm a bit late posting this, but I figured I might as well still go ahead with my mini-reviews for last month.

EIGHTH GRADE BITES by Heather Brewer (* * * *) MG - I fell in love instantly with Vlad and his vampire humour. If I were a 13 year old girl, I'd totally have a crush on him and want to take a bite out of him. But I'm not so, I'll have to just say the book was fantastic and captured my interest with its humour, gore, and thrills.
"I'm a creature of the night for God's sake! And she wants me home by eleven?"

TWISTED by Laurie Halse Anderson (* * * *) YA - What is it with amazing male MC's this month? Again, it was Tyler's character that pulled me through the story and had me laughing in all the best places and feeling so sorry for him when everything was going wrong. His emotional breakdown could have been so overdone, but instead, it was simple with just the right amount of emotion. I need to study this book in more detail. I know it will help me learn to ease off providing too much emotional baggage.

THE BERMUDEZ TRIANGLE by Maureen Johnson (* * *) YA - This was a comfortable book about friendship. The rotating points of view were confusing at first, but within the second and third chapters, I had them figured out and it all flowed well from there. Now that I've read it, I'm even more angry that anyone would try to ban this book. The lesbian relationship is more about real friendship and acceptance than anything else - two things which I strongly encourage. There's nothing gratuitous in the story -- just love. And frankly, we could all use a little more of that in our lives.

Bath night

2007-10-01T09:21:00.000-06:00

Last night was bath night at our house ... for the kittens.

Always a fun time. Wet. But fun.

Makeover Madness

2007-09-30T15:55:00.000-06:00

I've taken on a new look for my blog. What do you think? Was it better the other way? I can't decide. It's definitely time for a change though ... I think I'll try it out for a week and see how it feels.

Win Vlad's Hoodie!

2007-09-28T08:57:00.000-06:00

Heather Brewer is holding another contest, but this time she's giving away 13 of Vlad's hoodies. Yes, you heard me! 13!! You don't want to miss this! Check out her blog to find out what you have to do. I promise, no biting necessary to win.

Are we Nuts?

2007-09-26T09:58:00.000-06:00

Ever since our little Shadow died, we've been a one cat family and it's not something any of us were comfortable with. We longed for a kitten, but the timing hasn't been right. At first we didn't want to just "replace" Shadow, so we waited.

This weekend, Brendan and I finally caved and drove out of town to meet a lady who had beautiful kittens - siamese/himalayans- so we could pick the one we wanted. You know how when you pull into the donut shop and you can't decide which one donut you want so you end up with a dozen? ...

Okay, we didn't go that far, but we did end up coming home with two kittens, making our house a three-cat home. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It still does for the most part. I mean, I'm not the one who has to clean the litterbox. The kids have that pleasure. We've already started training the kittens the spots that are okay to pick at ... and the spots that aren't (my back included).

But somehow in our excitement, someone forgot to consult with the queen of the house - Miss Butterscotch - and I'll tell ya ...

She's rightly pissed!! Hissing and growling don't seem to work on these little spitfires of fur and she's had about enough of them. Lucky for the babies, she's all talk (so far) and we think she's more afraid of them than anything, but wow, who knew that such a sweet cat could be such a bitch??

In time, in time...

Anyway, I'm proud to announce the newest additions of our family... Snickers and Twix (yes we have a thing for sweets)!!

In case you're wondering, Snickers is the fluffy greyish one. Twix is the whiter less fluffy one.

Wow!

2007-09-18T13:09:00.000-06:00

My son had a project that involved him writing about his perfect movie-going experience. Since he has aspirations of being a director one day, he decided that his perfect movie would be one he directed based on MY BOOK! As part of the project, he came up with a movie poster that he designed.

My heart melts every time I see this. Not only is it cool looking, but the fact that he captured all the critical elements of my book in one shot tells me that he really gets it. I mean really gets it. Anyway, I just had to show this off.

He never ceases to amaze me.

Fantastic Siggy's

2007-09-15T08:49:00.000-06:00

My collection started innocently enough. I met a new friend from the Blue Boards who lives here in town. When her book came out, she signed my copy. I thought that was pretty darn cool. My first autographed book. By someone I actually knew.

The next one came totally by accident. As I wandered the shelves of my local Chapters, I pulled out a Louis Sachar book that had a "signed by author" sticker. My eyes popped and I flipped open the pages. Holy Crap - look at that! He really did sign it! Of course I bought the book.

The next one was nothing short of fate. It was a midnight party for some famous author's book release - geez, don't remember who - you know that author that had something like 7 books in the series and this was her last one ... anyway, we were standing in line waiting for our books when my oldest randomly picked up a 10th Anniversary edition of Silverwing by Kenneth Oppel. For something to do, he opened it and was about to start reading when ... OMG! It was signed too!! We placed it gently back on the shelf and stared at the line of over 100 people waiting to pay for that other book we were all there to grab. We were in the pre-paid line ...

It almost killed me to wait to return days later, but I was not about to stand in two lines that night. I kept having nightmares that someone would grab it, or that it would get moved and I'd never see it again. But no ... two days later, when I'd finished that other book, I slipped into the store and snatched it up! yay!

My next signed book came along not too long ago from a very dear friend. You know who you are ... and I think that one means the most to me. I keep yelling at my daughter, 'you take care of that book while it's in your room! ' No, I'm not psycho. Really. Just paranoid.

You know what's really cool? Yesterday, I received my signed copy of Rules by Cynthia Lord. I can honestly say, I have now impressed my son. He's made the connection -- 'okay, Rules is showing up in the Scholastic Book Orders. It's a Newbery Honour Book. And my mom just emailed Cynthia Lord and asked if she'd sign her book.'

Okay, I'll admit that Cindy says she'll do that for anyone who asks, but my son doesn't need to know that.

I'll stick with being admired for now.

Chop chop

2007-09-14T13:38:00.000-06:00

I know we're not supposed to worry too much about word count when we're writing, but I have to confess that having a MG that weighs in at just over 48,000 words felt a little heavy to me. And it worried me.

Over the last few days I've been chopping and hammering things into place ... 1600 words lighter, and it's now a feathery 46,500 words.

I'd still prefer to get it under the 45,000 mark, but I'm not sure that's going to work. Next week, I plan on attacking a few of the little things (okay, actually I have a list of 26 things) that need addressing and I have a sneaking suspicion that my word count is going to creep back up.

When is this thing going to be done???

Silence!

2007-09-12T12:43:00.001-06:00

Ah, the sweet sound of blissful silence!

Today is the first day I've had all the kids back to school and haven't had to be out and about doing a bunch of stuff I didn't want to do. (Okay, some of it I wanted to do.)

Hello, writing day! Long time no see!

Mishmashmush

2007-09-06T18:04:00.000-06:00

1.) Had my first core stability class today and I think I'm gonna die.

2.) How is it that it's only the third day of school and I'm already fighting about homework?

3.) Why can't they make diet slurpees?

4.) Will I ever be able to walk into an office supply store and not salivate?

5.) I've lost 6 pounds, but I'd give it all up for one serious night of bingeing. Okay, I wouldn't. That would be such a waste of time to have to start over again.

6.) What is my cat thinking when she meows for food, but her bowl is full? I don't know how to respond to that.

7.) How can I love writing so much and have a son who hates anything to do with writing? - Hence the homework fight that is still in progress.

K, that's my day summed up in 7 simple sentences. Why does it all seem like so much more during the day?